EXCELLENT STORY.

This was a good story. And although you have already finished it along time ago, I think it would be nice to add an epilogue. You had written in one of Timon's lines "in this life or the next". I think if you had the epilogue be modern day, and have them meet again - but this time end up together, would be a good sub-ending.

But actually, I like the ending you have as well. It shows real life instead of a fantastic fairy-tale. And Im happy that you didn't have them end up together in this life of theirs. It wasn't fitting.

Howdy! I just finished your story and have just a bit to comment about it.

First off, I love the setting and your usage of history. I adore European history and thus this was quite fascinating and stimulating. I'm surprised I've never come across one of your stories before, but am glad I finally did. Wildfire is coming along great and just as interesting.

Now to the criticism... there's nothing major that bugged me, except the romance between Timon and Lena. Now, I understand Timon's feelings for her, they're reasonable and expected. Lustful/Evil intentions... at least that is what I saw it as at first. Gradually they evolved into meaningful and deep emotions.

Now onto Lena. It seemed as if her personality fluctuated from strong-willed to submissive. Only in small doses though. But how on earth could she have fallen in love with Timon? (I understand Philo) He's cruel and... what else would you use to describe him? Even towards the end, he didn't seem to have changed at all. Still the same manipulative and ill-tempered Prince. In the last chapter it seemed as if he did a 180.

It doesn't make sense in my mind how Lena could've developed real and deep feelings for him. Affection due to all her time spent with him, I can see that. But love?

Maybe I interpreted this completely wrong... there's that possibilty. Maybe I read the story too fast? (Not such a bad thing though? haha)

It'd help me to know your thoughts on this. _

Anyway, your style of writing is wonderful and flows smoothly (with some writers, even if they use perfect grammar, it seems jerky in a way).

I think I'm over-analyzing this... x_x

Congratulations on an amazing, completed work!

Talayeh

Excellent story. You have some spelling errors, but I am sure you will address them when you go back and edit. I like the plot so far. The detail is also very well done. Oh, and I love the setting. No kidding. I am such a classics buff.

this story i must say is the best. i've seen stories where there are good period-language, but poor writing. then there are stories which have fantastic writing but out-of-context dialogue. YOUR STORY WAS FANTASTIC! when i saw it in my head, it was like a movie panning in my mind. the scenes all mean something! the character have a purpose! everyone of them! THERE ARE ALSO BRILLIANT ONE-LINERS; FANTASTIC ONE-LINERS THAT MADE ME HOWL! god, i loved how you changed scenes with ease, it was like a movie! i feel so sorry for philo; i was rooting for him (even though he got the girl, he still not as happy as he thought he would be)! criticisms: there are some parts where you use modern language like 'gotten' and the such, and you have mispelled some characters like 'Alcaeus/Aclaeus' or 'Philo/Phillo.' Other than that CONGRATULATIONS. BEST STORY EVER IF I EVER SAW ONE. GOD I STILL CAN'T GET OVER IT. IT STILL HASN'T HIT ME YET. CONGRATULATIONS ONCE AGAIN

OMG THAT WAS THE BEST STORY I HAVE EVER READ! OMG! I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT! OMG !

A powerful and moving story which hooked me from the beginning. Fantastic! Continue with the great work in the future.

wow, i'm amazed! that was great! great beginning with the facts. wonderful ending.

i'm thrilled! i can't wait to finish reading this!

I enjoyed reading your story. I found the ending perfect! Not all stories have a perfect happy ending, and those are the ones that don't always get written. Thank you for writing!Kristine

I enjoyed this story. I wish Lena had gone with Timon but i understand why she could not.I hope there will be a sequel or perhaps an epilogue? I never really warmed up to Philo, i hope she doesn't marry him!Keep writing!

This story, although sad and tragic, is realistic. I know that people constantly want the main characters to be together, but in a story like this, it seems so beyond realistic, and, although it was really sad, i liked this story till the end.

[but i dont like Lena's peasent boy.]

EITHER WAY, awesome job, i'm giving you 10 million gold stars D

i believe it was a stroke of genius to end the story how you did. it made it stay true, well as steady as a fiction can be:)

That was an awesome story. I really hope there is a sequel or at least an epilogue. There has to be more. Timon and Lena have to get together. Is she marrying Philo? Please write more :)

Oh, I certainly will look out for more of your work.

Thank you for reviewing my story. I'm especially grateful that you analyzed it quite well. Hopefully I'll be able to improve it. Thank you.

ohh well i think the ending was okay n yea iym kinda glad you didnt make it a happily ever after story...good job!