Reviews for Watery Mouth
tofujunky chapter 1 . 6/5/2004
Yowzer! That was hot. You have knack for teasing us readers, don't you?

My reactions while reading:

"My eyes alight upon you / And it is as a drop of water on my parched tongue"

*Arches right eyebrow*

"It saturates the skin and spreads / Melting all matter, until there is none."

*Arches both eyebrows*

"The warm liquid seeps through the cracks of my lips / It submerges my paper heart and rolls down my throat."

*Jaw slightly falling*

"You give new meaning to the term, 'My mouth waters.'"


"I swallow the water and choke."

*shakes head and laughs*

CydCharisse chapter 1 . 5/31/2004
I don't think I quite grasped this one...but it was very descriptive, and I liked the final line. Woo! *claps*
lifescrewsusall chapter 1 . 5/30/2004
I was deffinatly drooling by the end of the poem...
Seeker of the Way chapter 1 . 5/30/2004
Great extended metaphor and unique! It is so great!
til-iburnout aka Amanda Helton chapter 1 . 5/29/2004
unique..i like
xXxskysthelimitxXx chapter 1 . 5/28/2004
keep your eye on the ball. we were watching the sand lot in music at school at the phrase mouth waters kinda reminded me of that. Creepy part in law and order...Well can't wait for more.
WarriorHeart chapter 1 . 5/28/2004
Awesome. I loved how the poem gave you a sense of warmth(?) right up until that last line! Great words mi amiga.
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 5/28/2004
not a very happy ending.. I guess meant to foreshadow a bad relationship.. very different meaning of the phrase
mizu no kokoro chapter 1 . 5/28/2004
...Hee... Food! :D :D :D :D :D
catseyeview chapter 1 . 5/28/2004
ooh, this is very interesting. At first I thought this was a very romantic piece, my eyes alight upon you and like water this person quenches a parch skin, mouth, lips, even the paper heart, but then in the end you choke on this water. Very creative! very smart.
Semi-charmed life chapter 1 . 5/28/2004
wow. So descriptive, wow. Great job, im impressed. Keep writing and check out some of my stuff if u'd like