|Reviews for The Grand Tour|
| Petit Poisson chapter 1 . 8/21/2005
I really really enjoy your style! All the words and sentences fit together extremely well, and your names are very well chosen. The dialogue is great, it seems like all of the characters are very witty and happy to be alive.
The isles sound very interesting as well, and they make me want to visit this place. And where did you come up with the idea of a clockwork ship? It's so so SO well written and imagined, I can see everything! WOW!
| Maira L. Dane chapter 1 . 7/20/2005
First things first: "as the often did" should be "as they often did".
I was very elated to read your characters' choice of leaving society's requirments behind. I was getting very frustrated and angry before that point. I dislike the fact that people believe they have to do whatever is suggested of them. So the fact that the characters are going on a wild trip around the world is very exciting.
I found it hard to keep my attention, however. Descriptions were dragged out a bit too long and, well, it became boring in parts. I wonder if that's because you're british, and I've never been good at brit lit (French lit is more my thing)so maybe it's just that I'm having flashbacks to reading Pride and Prejudice and Wuthering Heights, dreadful classics.
In any case, I like the idea of three friends packing up and leaving their lives behind on a whim.
| Val Mora chapter 3 . 7/30/2004
The first half of this chapter is in desperate need of a comma-and-semicolon check; you keep putting commas where semicolons ought to go and omitting commas entirely.
The problem seems to resolve itself in the second half (or, more likely, there were no more situations that called for this particular punctuation), though, so no complaints about that.
I wonder what the Blue Cloister is, then - most probably a 'house of ill repute', would be my guess. Either that, or it's like the French salons, where everyone who was anyone (especially the artists) got together to debate politics and philosophy. I am highly curious.
I see that there are author's notes in the next chapter, which makes me very sad, but I'm proceeding onward in the hopes that you will tell me that this story has not been discontinued. Even if it has, I hope that someday you'll change your mind and write more. _ It's really very good, and your style of writing is absolutely gorgeous.
| Val Mora chapter 2 . 7/29/2004
More gorgeous description and hilarity. I just love the wry voice in which you write it all - like all the world is a marvelous joke that one absolutely *must* get. Plus, the Victorian propriety is a lovely setting for it, and I adore the way people talk and the atmosphere of the world.
Have you ever read "Point of Dreams" and "Point of Hopes" by Melissa Scott and Lisa A. Barnett? The dependence on astrology in that world is vaguely reminiscent of the dependence on it in your own.
The lovely young playwright is great, and I want to see more of her. I'd also like explanation of this young lady with whom Justin was found trysting. _
Onward to the next chapter!
| Val Mora chapter 1 . 7/29/2004
I love it. I am in love with this story, I tell you.
Your detail with the philosopher is really wonderful (it vaguely reminds me of J. Gregory Keyes's "Age of Unreason" quartet, in fact) and I want to see more in that direction, although I doubt that our three intrepid heroes are going to be granting me the favor of more technological knowledge for this world.
Your characters are great. I adore them, I love their backgrounds, and I can't keep them straight. At all. Perhaps that will be resolved in time, however; we'll see.
Your dialogue is absolutely gorgeous. I laughed out loud in the one passage in which one of the young men accused another of being a 'fop' - my dad gave me the strangest look. _
The only problem is that you have troubles with punctuation for direct quotations. If the direct quotation does not end the sentence, there should be a comma inside the quotes before beginning the rest of the sentence, which is outside the quotation marks (assuming that there is no exclamation point or question mark). [Ex: "'At least you can pay the bills' interjected Simeon 'It’ll be the Clergy...'" ought to be "'At least you can pay the bills,' interjected Simeon. 'It'll...'"
Also, you have the unfortunate habit of not being entirely sure whether your description of the character-who-is-speaking's actions are part of the sentence with the dialogue or not.
Ex: "'As near as...social circle,' He paused, and took a sip of his drink, 'Of course that...'" ought to be "'As near as...social circle,' he paused, ...drink. 'Of course, that...'"
Ex: "'Second cousins.' Corrected..." ought to be: "'Second cousins,' corrected..."
There are a couple of others, but most of the errors are along these lines, and are, while distracting, forgettable. Direct quotations are nasty little confusing buggers. _
By the way, do you have a map of all these islands? I'd love to see one, unless, of course, they're real islands and I'm just too stupid and geographically challenged to know this. _~
All in all, a highly intruiging premise with quite a lot of promise that I'm looking forward to reading!
| DarkSorceress chapter 4 . 6/24/2004
A very interesting chapter indeed, that last one. I have always enjoyed the idea of actors and actresses and playwrights...and I have been toying with how I would put them into my own fantasy story for a while. Anyways, I hope you update soon!
| DarkSorceress chapter 3 . 6/10/2004
You explain your chapters...
That's all I can really say...
| DarkSorceress chapter 2 . 6/10/2004
Argentine Mythology...Does that have to do with Silver or Argentina by any chance?
I like the whole idea of having celestial energy throw the boat's engines out of whack. Very interesting.
Last chapter you mentioned what happened to sons that are not the eldest. I have been trying to figure out what happened to them for the longest time.
Anyways greeat two chapters. I look forward to reading your other one!
| An Inside Joke chapter 1 . 6/7/2004
Good job at letting us get to know the charecters through their conversations, instead of just describing them.
| insideoutside chapter 2 . 6/4/2004
I just wanted to tell you that i am rewriting my two stories and the only reason i am using this to tell you is because your email is not working i can't email you for some reason.
| insideoutside chapter 1 . 5/31/2004
so far a good story I have a question how come your e-mail is not working and how do you want me to explain the story what is the differce between a summary and explonation. Please help!