Reviews for Shiver When Wet
renegade01 chapter 9 . 11/15/2009
wow...that was beautiful. and deep and meaningful. i think your brave for writing this. ;)
bhenbgweg chapter 3 . 3/12/2007
lol - how adorable :) i like!
Schizo Niko chapter 9 . 6/27/2005
i love the way this ended. i think it'd actually be better if you DIDN'T write any quels. this is a truly awesome story standing alone. you have a gift...i write too but it seems that no one stays focused on mine. i think i get too descriptive. but yours was just descriptive enough, and captivating too. i'm so glad i found it. thanks for writing it
Schizo Niko chapter 8 . 6/27/2005
character analysis? okay then.

lydia: i can identify with her, i love her narratives, she's smart. she doesn't have the 'you couldn't NOT be friends with her' type thing, but she sounds like the person who's so amazing but you just have to laugh at them.

kale: sounds a lot like my best friend galen. we have the same sort of thing going on. he is...almost perfect, really (kale, that is) and if i were lydia i would jump him.

grafton: from the beginning i thought he was kind of fishy. i don't know what to think anymore. he's suave and knows how to charm, but he's a jerk? might take some more getting used to.

tony and dexter: from all i hear about the older brothers interacting with lydia and kale, i have to say that they are really great people. they just wanted to take care of things, themselves and each other. great brotherly figures.

...was that good enough? amazing story, btw
stuck here waiting chapter 1 . 5/20/2005
Alright, J.J. was supposed to be you. I guessed may you'd think it was about you, and it wasn't. So i didn't want any misunderstandings or know?
Rose Richonne chapter 9 . 2/21/2005
That was a very insightful, cute story. I really loved your short story, you did a great job with it. I don't think I have any suggestions for you to make it better :) Well, one thing, the character and setting descriptions, we don't know what anything looks like! lol. That's all, thanks again for writing this.
murphy1086 chapter 9 . 12/30/2004
Hi there! Clever story. I liked Lydia, how she started out so naive and then got a real perspective on life. Kale was a sweetheart. Didn't see too much of Tony or Dexter, but they seemed like really cool guys. Grafton seemed okay to begin with, but the way you warped him I don't think is fair to his character. I mean, what a huge change! Anyways, I hope you do more stories like this.
Suii Generiis chapter 9 . 12/29/2004
Wow. o.o I'm speechless...This story reminds me of my life...I'm a lot like Lydia and Kale at the same time. I'm a hoppless romantic; I've been wanting the movie Kiss since I saw Kate and Leopold. And I, too, have a MAJIOR crush on my best friend. I was actually suprised when I read this story. It's...Kinda creepy. Not the story, but the fact that the story has a lot of the same things I have in my life. But I bet a lot of people have the same situations. Yeah...I kinda doubt that Dason will ever see me anymore as his best friend. :p Life can be really evil sometimes.

Well, this was a really good fic. I hope you write more!


P.S.: I'm sorry about your dog. I know what you're going through, my dog died this past summer. I just hope you didn't have to witness the bloody, stiff, lifeless body of your think of it this way: at least he won't have to suffer pain in this world anymore. Now, he can rest in peace.

JohnnyGodfather chapter 1 . 12/29/2004
Look, I'm not an asshole, I'm just out to piss off everyone on this site by doing what the fiction press admins will let me do.

In your review you said: "I found the piece on the female body intensely interesting. It made me smile knowing these fabulous facts you put in such... imagery were loosely related to what lay in my pants."

So, we can only assume you're a girl, depending on how "loosely" what's in you pants is related.

Now, I could have just looked in your two-mile-long bio to check your age, but decided it was for my health not to.

Anyway, this is a poem I wrote I'd like to show you, seeing as how all girls on fictionpress are depressed and turn out dozens of poems every 15 minutes:

"Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door." 'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door;Only this, and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December,And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the I wished the morrow; vainly I had sought to borrowFrom my books surcease of sorrow, sorrow for the lost Lenore,.For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore,Nameless here forevermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtainThrilled me-filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating," 'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door,Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber it is, and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,"Sir," said I, "or madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;But the fact is, I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,That I scarce was sure I heard you." Here I opened wide the door;-Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearingDoubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,And the only word there spoken was the whispered word,Lenore?, This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word,"Lenore!" Merely this, and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,Soon again I heard a tapping, something louder than before,"Surely," said I, "surely, that is something at my window me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery my heart be still a moment, and this mystery explore." 'Tis the wind, and nothing more."

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,In there stepped a stately raven, of the saintly days of the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;But with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber upon a bust of Pallas, just above my chamber door,Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven thou," I said, "art sure no craven,Ghastly, grim, and ancient raven, wandering from the nightly me what the lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore."Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,Though its answer little meaning, little relevancy bore;For we cannot help agreeing that no living human beingEver yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door,Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,With such name as "Nevermore."

But the raven, sitting lonely on that placid bust, spoke onlyThat one word, as if his soul in that one word he did further then he uttered; not a feather then he fluttered;Till I scarcely more than muttered, "Other friends have flown before;On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before."Then the bird said, "Nevermore."

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store,Caught from some unhappy master, whom unmerciful disasterFollowed fast and followed faster, till his songs one burden bore,-Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden boreOf "Never-nevermore."

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linkingFancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore Meant in croaking "Nevermore."

Thus I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressingTo the fowl, whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease recliningOn the cushion's velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o'er,But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o'erShe shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censerSwung by seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor."Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he hathSent thee respite-respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!Quaff, O quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!"Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!-prophet still, if bird or devil!Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,Desolate, yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted-On this home by horror haunted-tell me truly, I implore:Is there-is there balm in Gilead?-tell me-tell me I implore!"Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil-prophet still, if bird or devil!By that heaven that bends above us-by that God we both adore-Tell this soul with sorrow laden, if, within the distant Aidenn,It shall clasp a sainted maiden, whom the angels name Lenore-Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels name Lenore?Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."

"Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!" I shrieked, upstarting-"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sittingOn the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is the lamplight o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floorShall be lifted-nevermore!"

Right. I was inspired by the lack of trees in my front yard while riding the bus to school.

So, your story, well... I didn't read it, but, well, I know how it's going to be:

Cassandra: Come on let's make : No! The last time I let someone in... I was : Why won't you let me in!Jake: I can't trust another person with my : Dammit! Let me in!

Right, stupid, melodramatic teen romance stuff.

However, it would be OK if there was actually sex in yours'. Like, make the stereotypical character in your story-symbolized by Jake-get knocked up or something, I dunno. Anyway, right, romance stories rated pg-13... I don't read.

So yeah, sex it up a bit, and, uhmm, any death threats go to
bemused scribbler chapter 9 . 12/3/2004
Aww...this was so sweet and sad. i love it! The descripitions, like the smells and the shivers, were amazing. i really liked your character's personalities. great story, i really enjoyed reading it. its going on my favorites! _
stuck here waiting chapter 8 . 11/3/2004
WOW! It is so amazing ot read your writing...I'm very intriuged, you know how nosy i am and i can't help doing this to you because you did it to me...Lydie eh?Grafton eh?Kale eh?hmm...Sounds so much like something that would happen to you...but idk.
Jazzy Kitty chapter 9 . 8/10/2004
Holaz; wonderful story! I really enjoyed it. It had an element of realisticness (is that a word?), which was spiffing. I loved it! Great job. [oh, by the way, thanx for your reviews :o)]
alba chapter 9 . 7/21/2004
omg. this is one of the best, if not best story that i have ever read here. wow. it really made me cry, smile, actually made me realize things too, wow. very emotional story you have here. i have been really touched by it. so great job and actually thank you.
natmarie chapter 9 . 7/21/2004
And here I am, reviewing the final chapter. Tear. Here I go.
1. The whole movie scene thing, mixed with the paradox of exactly what was happening to Lydia was really cool. I’m glad she has been knocked out of her dream world to realize that the spinning cameras and perfect kisses can happen in real life, and not always as you plan. That’s a really great romantic message.
2. The descriptions of the moment and Lydia’s thoughts were really well written with description and accuracy I’m sure tons of people can relate to in some way.
3. "The thing is, Kale, I don't want a perfect romance anymore, because what's the point of perfect? Every thing's got problems, we all need the solutions." –so true!
4. You ended this perfectly in my books. It was sweet and thoughtful and true. I love your last line too. I feel odd to say this, but I think this last chapter was my favorite of them all. Kudos on finishing this. Terrific job. –gives mini standing ovation-
Sorry to see this end, and to hear about your dog. Sadness. She/he is now running and chasing balls in doggie heaven. Wow that sounds like a greeting card or something. Anyway, my condolences. Great to know this is based on somewhat real life. I tend to do that too. Check out my other stuff when you have time to eat ice cream and all that jazz you mentioned. Take your time. Thanks again for the sweet review, means the world to me. Can’t wait until you update your other story. I’ll be watching for it.
natmarie chapter 8 . 7/21/2004
I’m back yet again…
1. I really liked they way that you began this chapter. A great lesson, comment on life and message I think everyone can relate to.
2. You also did an amazing job of integrating Kale and Lydia’s past. Wonderful description too.
3. Kale might not be the perfect Prince Charming of Lydia’s dreams and books, but in my eyes he is even better. If she didn’t want him I would take him lol.
4. Ack, jerky Grafton. Sweet sentiment though. I’m glad she’ll end up with Kale.
5. Haha the whole punk’d line was hilarious.
6. Ooh swimming, nice touch, super sweet and romantic and not too fluffy. Very well written.
You wanted a character analysis type thing, hmm.. I’ll try. Keep in mind nothing said is meant to offend, just my opinion, which not many listen to.
Lydia- I like her, she is believable and has good thoughts in the romance department even if they are a little bit skewed towards perfection. Totally believable and oddly enough like me. She has great sarcastic comments.
Kale- He is written well too. Seems like the good friend and down to earth guy that he is suppose to be. Makes you want to love him, even though Lydia’s ‘prince’ is suppose to be Grafton the perfect. Totally the perfect guy.
Grafton-I would say that he is a little too goo to be true, but that is the whole point of his character and works great with the plot. He breaks Lydia out of her fairy talk misconceptions by not being the one.
Tony- Although he had no dialogue or anything like that. I think he was a totally crucial and well-needed character. I mean his death brought Lydia and Kale together and helped him to admit how she feels. Very necessary and awesome sounding person, almost he had been alive earlier on in the story.
Dexter- The fact that he also died was very depressing to me, but I guess it gave Lydia and Kale more of a connection. And he also helped push Lydia and Kale together in death, like Tony, without ever knowing it. I thought it was a little unnecessary that he died too, let alone in a suicide, but not a problem. You made it work with the story well.
Now to read what I fear to be the last chapter. Sigh.
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