Reviews for Her Wall
miss.aishaj chapter 1 . 9/7/2004
Wow...I can relate to this...for being through the same thing myself..this is really touching how you can express the feeling that someone really does care about people who do that. It might not mean what you meant for it to mean, but that's what it means to me. I really like this one...I don't know how to explain this one. On all my other reviews it was always like "oh this is awesome, i love it, i love it, i love it." I really don't know what to say about this one. But to me, this is really touching in my own personal way. I'd like to see you write some suicidal story maybe? You seem to have great stories in your poems, and I'd like to see how they'd turn out if the stories were developed...Try it. I think you'd do a great job at that too. And include some poetry in it too!...Just an idea. Let me know what you think of it! **S.G**
Fuinixe chapter 1 . 8/16/2004
"She tries to reach out but instead reaches in
I see you taking up the lies again"
I love that part.
Yeah, I should have reviewed this a long time ago, but oh well.
I think you'll be happy to know I haven't cut since the end of June. It's over.
Take care and keep writing.
Getuie chapter 1 . 8/4/2004
This is truly something extraordinary. The repetition really brings the emotion through... and it's real... it's so, so real. It's definitely something I can relate to. Wonderful while drenched with sadness and frustration.
Deirdra Chaeli chapter 1 . 7/28/2004
*floored* You capture it as though you have experienced it... and it's wonderful. There are a great deal of trite "I hate my life" poems out there, but this... this reaches within to the real pain, the true suffereing that someone in this place feels. It's extremely evocative, and absolutely brilliant.
Matthew James Current chapter 1 . 7/7/2004
Well, honestly this is based off of a real life experience(s) with Bobbi, Sabb, and Hawke. Some friends of mine who struggle with pain and hurting themselves. I appreciate your desire for honest poetry based off of real experiences, but that is in fact what this is. I suppose on occasion I can make an experience seem more dramatic than it really is, but that's hyperbole, part of what poetry is. And in this case I just wrote out my feelings on the matter. I did consider not entitling it "Her" Wall, but after consideration decided that that wasn't what I had experienced. So I turned what I had felt into a poem. You shouldn't be so self-depreciating, I am sure that your work has at the very least some true beauty to it. Even the very worst of poets has moments in which they capture the essence of something. I am sure that you are not as bad as you say you are and if you wish I would be more than willing to review some of your work if you wish me to. If you do, just let me know how you would like me to review, I can focus on what is good about your pieces, what needs work, or simply what could use refining. I won't lie, I have a long way to go before I can reach my full potential, but I am more than willing to share what little knowledge and experience I have. Again, only if you don't mind. Best of luck to you in all your endeavours.
Crimson-Fantasy chapter 1 . 7/7/2004
i am not being rude but as you are not a girl and i find the fact that you are pinning something like this apon a girl a little rude i would prefer that in the future you don't use boy or girl if you don't have to and if you are going to right about something seriously than i think that you should base it on somethng you have felt or gone through because otherwise there is no emmotion and emmotion is alot of what poetry is about just a suggjestion i like the format though very fluent sounds however like something you got off a movie no offence but it is still quite good better than most i am letting you know that i am not saying this to be rude and please let it b known i am a really bad writer i have had writers block for a long time so everything i have been writing sucks don't reveiw it and well nice job
bach-player chapter 1 . 6/15/2004
i understand the pain and frustration of wanting to help someone who self injures. my daughter does this. there is a family history of it. best of luck w/ your friend. i know the struggle. good images in your poem, i epspecially liked "taking up the lies again...taking up the pain and anger...raking up your sorrow into a pile...jumping in again. good job w/ this.
Cry Tears of Darkness chapter 1 . 6/5/2004
yet again, nice work.
Steel Winged Angel chapter 1 . 6/3/2004
*hugs you tightly* I can't really think of much else to say. To those who are wondering, Sabb and I will be all right in time with friends like Matthew here. Matthew, thanks for this. It means a lot. As usual, you show your emotions well.
Hawke
behind the velvet curtain chapter 1 . 6/3/2004
hmm... good. I like it (as usual).
I especially like the repetition at the beginnings of some of the verses. Nice effect...
This sounds a lot like a friend of mine...I hope you and yours are ok.
Keep writing.
Shinji Boi69 chapter 1 . 6/3/2004
To me, This is a very well written song. I would love to hear this sung. I loved how you used repitition to accentuate the points you were trying to make. Great job.
Keep up the good work.
Jake
Caitir chapter 1 . 6/3/2004
*wild applause* brilliant! you've captured the feeling perfectly, and the format only enhances that feeling of futile trying and sadness. wonderful... simply wonderful.