Reviews for Violence: A real problem
tabiboi chapter 1 . 12/16/2004
Wow- you're a good essay writer. Wish I was. It's true, though, about so much violence- it's kinda sad. And I like how you gave tips for keeping yourself out of violence.
Rachel Faith A. Teknoman 333 chapter 1 . 7/24/2004
Woah - this is cool, Jake! I'm definitely going to keep this. You don't know how much this will help me in some ways.
Eagle Seance chapter 1 . 6/9/2004
Very good of you to leave a bibliography as well! A from me definitely! ; )
Wrathful Diana chapter 1 . 6/8/2004
Your essay was VERY well written, my LA teacher would love you, but I think that the topic you chose was too broad to cover in a single essay. I think that you didn't elaborate enough on some topics simply because you didn't have the space, I also believe that many of the details, like peer-pressure, could be topics for essays on their own. You could do a collection of essays linked to the umbrella topic of 'Violence', very well written and good spelling.
vanburen chapter 1 . 6/6/2004
I liked your essay, especially the fire tip at the end, I learned that once and I couldn't get over how sad it is that most people wouldn't help you if you said "rape" or something like that. An important tip I think you missed is that most violence occurs at the hands of people that are familiar with the victim, that is the scary part. Also, I do not think that drugs in of themselves are the source of violence, rather, the means by which people are forced to acquire drugs due to America's "no tolerance policies". The illegal status of drugs drives people to crime in order to acquire them. Not that I'm saying that all drugs should be illegal, but I think that drugs are just one part of a much bigger problem. But I'm getting off topic, wasn't I? This is a well-crafted essay, and I only have one criticism. You introduce a lot of topics in this essay, but you don't really develop them or give us an idea of what your opinions are on this issue. At times, I feel that you are just quoting the author back at me. A key part of essay writing is identifying where you stand on issued that are already being discussed.
ok, hehe. i'll stop now.
over and out!
AntiPleasure chapter 1 . 6/5/2004
Hey doll thanks so much for your review! D
Anyhoos, decently written essay. I say you add more witty remarks and such, that always gets the piece going in an essay since they're usually a snore.. but this one isn't. "People just have to learn how to control their temper" It's easier said than done, some of the things you said were like from therapy, not the best approach but you're right, if people try to maintain their tempers, all would be good as gold. But it's not, anger is a good thing like you mentioned, it's just some people act upon it and take it out on others. I believe that's why violence occurs. It's from television, upbringing (sometimes), from peers but even some are just anger-prone.. meh that made no sense and I'm rambling XD FUCK lol
Anyhoos again.. nicely written piece and well thought out.
Jenna x
gothicgirl34 chapter 1 . 6/5/2004
I just realized something. KayT is ur gf!i look at other people that review and read their bio's n stuff and i looked at hers and it just clicked. Huh, sry that was wierd but it's just i actually discovered something interesting today. Anyhow, she seems cute. Im sure u think so too. lol :P
Cry Tears of Darkness chapter 1 . 6/5/2004