|Reviews for Eight More Matches|
| Simple Servant chapter 1 . 7/7/2004
Nice illustration you use here. You are trying to rekindle that 'fire' with what seem to be wet matches. Great analogy. I've felt the same way...after you pass the "excitement stage" right after you get saved, everything kind of seems dry. i mean, the love is still there, it's just that there's no emotion behind it. but don't worry, it comes back, it just takes a little work and a lot of faith! i hope your flame relights and explodes into a fire even you will not believe. I have a few new songs up if u want to check them out. you may find 'soul fracture' interesting. GBU!
| meowzart chapter 1 . 6/11/2004
good work - repetition is apparent, but not intruding. i wonder at the 'eight more wishes flying from my tongue' for it seems that wishes from the heart would compliment the depth of the poem. i also wonder at the choice of the number 8 - is it not generally 7 for perfection? or is it to imply that you get another chance even in addition to perfection? or am i totally missing the symbolism of the 8?
| SJBiernat chapter 1 . 6/11/2004
very good. I would have only changed one thing if i'd written it and that is simply when you said,"Ready now to burst forth into flame" I would have said in flames. But that's just my preferencein Grammer. Sounds great the way you wrote it:)
| Edraith chapter 1 . 6/11/2004
This is so beautiful and moving. I love it. The idea with the matches and the way you expand that image is great. Just like the other reviewers I wondered why you chose the number eight, but why not? It is good to take a concrte number, it just makes the poem so much more effective, and even that mysterious "eight" adds a mysterious element which fits quite well with the language and atmosphere of the poem. My favourite lines are
"Eight more achings echo in the dark,
As my failed dreams fall, turned into ash." They are just so hauntingly sad and beautiful. Wonderful piece.
| CaffineAnonymous chapter 1 . 6/9/2004
Hi. I like it...I like it a latte. It's just...really really good. Why did you choose eight, though?
| my-vision chapter 1 . 6/9/2004
beautifully written. great depth. how'd you come up with the number eight? haha. it gives it great meaning.
thanks for all your reviews! :-D
| Getuie chapter 1 . 6/9/2004
What kinda sticks to me about this poem is the 'potential' of the matches. 'cold and dead despite the spark within'... that really just catches my attention every time I read through this poem. It kinda makes me think that maybe it's not the matches that bring the spark after all. Maybe it's the choice to use them... which would explain why they turn to ash and do not keep that 'spark'. *shrugs*
Your talent for writing poems are a constant inspiration... I hope you know that.
| Rigalphantisi911 chapter 1 . 6/9/2004
why only 8? why not 9, or 11? or 80 million? i like the ending the best. It's very nice. Good job.