i am absolutely in love with your portrayal of vampires. I wasn't aware of how tired I was of the classical vampires-are-stone-cold-and-flawless characters. the way you make them exactly like humans, with the same struggles etc, is refreshing

Wow so all that had to happen was that someone who was a lot friendlier had to drink from her so that those two assholes didn't rape her?! What kind of twisted crap is that that no legal system couldn't charge those pricks with? Are vamps running the world? Surely there's something against that? I'm sick of sexist crap like this, as if a girl needs a saviour and is bound by a man and has to be drank from against her will? Wow. I know this is just a story but surely in this universe those two pricks get their comeuppance? I really blood hope so. This is otherwise not fair at all and does not seem to fit the 'moderness' of the story.

You're kidding?! She has to let them?! But that's practically rape then! They took her blood against her will and she has to let them?! Says who?! There was no consent, nothing, in the matter. There's got to be some sort of legal system in place for that kind of BS!

So I wonder if the next chapter is Avery's funeral and Jamnis's imprisonment. Hmm.

I like lollipops so I don't blame her. Who turns away free food?! No one!

This was rather nice. I had a few small critics when I began it, but really by the end they mostly worked themselves out (as far as the technical things). You were right, you really progressed as a writer. It was a cutr storu with a great cast ofcharacters that disnt fet confusing. I am still kind of confused about the magic but I chalk that up to me needing to reread the parts. My only thing then was the relationship with the protagonist and ... Well everyone. The only one that felt sincere was with her friend. I didn't really understand her romantic relationship (how it started, why she was attracted to him) much less why it was so easy to go from him dating her friend to dating her. Real life? That takes conversation, analyzing - even when their (her friends and the fellow) relationship isn't deep you still ask about it. I feel like I wish I knew why they were together more. It just seemed odd. I also never fully understood her relationship with her family. I too am slightly estranged from a single member that on the outside doesn't make much sense - so that didn't bother me. But as estranged as I am from them, and it does mean I moved across country and don't visit - I still didn't abandon my other family members. I don't fully understand why you can up and leave no guilt and I'm not sure her hatred made that kind of sense for such an extreme response.

But small things really, especially because those things are rather per reader. To another it would have maybe made more sense

Lovely writing

I have no idea why you think the first chapter isn't good! It was great!

It's not romantic with his occasional girlfriend sitting right next to him - just skeezy.

Sooo...I love the story! You did a great job! I'm excited to read the next one. Sirel cracks me up, and Gavin makes me mad haha but I guess that's what a good book is supposed to do! Keep up the good work!

Loved it

Yah! i am happy with the turn out of the end of the chappie.

Not aweful but awesome

Holy wow. o.o

This is going to be an awkward car ride. lol.

-giggles- Yeah yeah. Denial is more than a river in Egypt. Enjoyed the chappie and cant wait to read more. :D