Reviews for Children of Destiny
SWeeT-x-eTeRNiTY chapter 3 . 6/28/2004
i reallie liked it! i love it when young innocent characters kick butt! haha.. anywayz.. please update as soon as possible! i cant wait to read more!
please review my story if you can!~
ConfectusPapilio chapter 3 . 6/17/2004
Interesting. I would love an update as soon as possible!
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CRITIQUE!
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Okay, first of all, I know you want the charactors to be mature and stuff, but it just seems so . . . unnatural. You could work around this by having them determined and acting like children. If Ginvera is going to properly take care of them, she would want them to be children along with the fighters they must become. She would raise them in such a way that they could become what they must. Almost how a lion trains its young. The young grows up with fun and fighting, but the same fun is prepairing it for its live. I think this would be an easier and more natural stratagy to use.
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The one other thing I have to mention is the flashback, it seems to lack energy and fall flat. Maybe you could rewrite it into what she is saying, explaining it more to the children instead of telling it to the reader. NEVER lecture the reader, let them find out.
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Very good read so far and I can't wait for an update.
Khenna (email - , if you write and email please tell me who you are if your email adress doesn't say exactly)
ConfectusPapilio chapter 1 . 6/17/2004
Very interesting, very promising. I must continue. Excellent story so far. Little bit of critique (bad habit of mine) hope you don't mind.
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The formating of this could easily irritate a reader and confuse them a bit with the italicised and then normal font, both in Tifa's point of view. I like the bold 'Tifa's P.O.V.' it makes a nice look, it is the other that irritates me. I think you could turn it to normal font and it would be perfectly okay.
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Thoughts of Tifa could be added a bit more, varies places all over.
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Other then that, very enjoyable story, I must continue to the next chapter...
Artemis Nomad chapter 3 . 6/17/2004
i like! PLEASE continue! I like th use of P.O.V! keep it up!
Jessie My Love chapter 3 . 6/17/2004
this was a very good chapter i liked it a lot more then the other one. At some points it was a little confuisng but you still have such great talent as an author. Oh and if you are wondering i am FantasylilAngel i just changed my sn cause i did not like it. I can't wait for the next chappie B~bye
~*Me
Raven Silvers chapter 1 . 6/16/2004
I am so proud o' you, you know that? *grins* You've found yourself a fan, m'dear, a fan (me, in this case).
I toldcha you were a rising star. And I'm not wrong, am I? *grins* Cheers, mon ami, cheers!
- Raven S.
Jessie My Love chapter 2 . 6/15/2004
okay the prolouge for this story was a very good shot. But you need a better summry if you want people to read this fic, because a summery is what people look at if they want to read a fic or not. Another thing what you did in this chappie was completly pointless and was a waste of time if i were you i would never do it again it justs gets the reader irritated and get their attention off of the story which is supposed to be sersous. Now please continue with this stoyr i thought the prolouge was very good. I think that you are a very talented writer. i will look at your other stories...if you have any. Oh and can you please do me a favor and read my brand new ifc. It is my first on this site so don't be too hard on me if you review. Great ficcy you are going on my faves i hope you update soon. B~bye
~*Me
YuNiElOvEr chapter 1 . 6/15/2004
wOw! I can't wait to know about Savine and Rienne's 'full-extend' abilities! There's quite alot of emotions prtrayed in the prologue! Hope you can do the Chap 1 soon! Savine's sounds really cool..I wanna be her! kidding!
BHB chapter 1 . 6/11/2004
I'm new to and this one caught my eye. It's a good piece of, work and it could shape into soemthing quite spectacular. It was enjoying to read. I would particularly like to see how the story works out. The opening was fantastic and catching. Thankyou
Artemis Nomad chapter 2 . 6/11/2004
I like it a lot! Please continue! There was a lot of good emotion portrayed in the prologue. Keep It up!
WRITE MORE!