Reviews for Lance and Ingrid
rabbittt chapter 4 . 2/7/2005
Great story; very suspenseful, and a nice twist at the end :)
Kerrin Allen chapter 4 . 1/9/2005
This story was really well written! I liked the gun-related gore quite a bit. I think all that gun-violence that Lance uses helps to further alienate him from the reader. By the end of the story, I was really glad he got what was coming to him. Some grammar errors occur in the first 1-20something chapters section and the epilogue page. The grammar errors are needed commas and some needed capital letters. Other than that, I thought this story was really great! Keep up the good work!
katie kincaid chapter 1 . 7/13/2004
I've always loved your stories. I think this one had a strong plot and the characters are well defined, you portay them so well you could almost guess what they would do next. There are some areas that could use work editorially (i could proof read it if you want)but as a story very it kept me waiting for each new chaper. I'll read it again and see if I have more specific comments.
Conductive chapter 2 . 7/11/2004
This could be the some of the better writing here. No joke. Sometimes the stories are almost painful to read, evoking images of a heavily made up teenage girl whining about how her life sucks. Sorry for being forced to use the cliche, but I had to point out that your writing is, in fact, not like that.
rah chapter 1 . 6/28/2004
This is really great! I was really caught up in it..i can't wait until you finish it.
Megan chapter 1 . 6/13/2004
Oh this had better be just the first chapter. Seriously! My god! If Lance gets away with it and Ingrid dies...argh! Run, Ingrid! Seriously, whatever lifestyle you like, it's better to be ALIVE to live it, woman!
...Okay. I'm done glaring now. ...Almost.
Concerning the story itself, this was fucking awesome. You have to have had a lot of experience writing before this, and it shows. The BDSM stuff distracted me a little from the storyline, but at least that meant that Ingrid was enjoying herself and wasn't a victim, but a happy participant.
The thing with Bella, though... That pissed me off to no end, but wonderfully so, since you wrote it in such an excellent way...if that makes any sense.
All in all, you're a damn good writer and this is a damn good first chapter, but there had better be more! Lance needs to die! Die, Lance! Impale yourself upon your inevitably shattered ego!