Reviews for Connection |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Hey there Great story you've written; I loved every bit of it. Just a suggestion but you should probably change the status of this to completed. Because I don't really like uncompleted stories, I use FP's filter to only search for completed stories. I only found this by chance as it wad on another person's favourites list and I decided on a whim to give this story a go, even though it wasn't complete. But I'm glad I did because it turned out to be a great story and I love how you created the characters and storyline. The relationship between Justin and Lila was amazing! I can't fault the story based on grammar and English, so I honestly can't believe that I was thinking about not reading this story! Congratulations on a wonderful novella. Cheers, TQL |
![]() ![]() ![]() cute story! in some of the chapters, I think some words were missing from several sentences, but it wasn't hard to follow. |
![]() ![]() setting the story with the main characters in a gaming company was very unique but i loved everyminute of it! thanks for the great story |
![]() ![]() ![]() Loved it! Considering that I'm from the San Jose/San Fran region.. totally awesome. (: |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hahaha, that was a great ending. I loved how persistent Justin was! He's great and so was this story. You did an awesome job :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() I liked how you started it off because it was really interesting to read. I can tell I'm already going to really lik Lila and Justin :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() i really enjoyed reading this story but i was quite disappointed with the ending. it was a huge anti-climax ! i'm glad lila and justin got together but i wish things could've been ended differently. things just seemed a bit abrupt. either way, thanks for the read :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() i think if you ever choose to do an editing of this whole story, you should probably get rid of the whole indenting for dialogue parts thing. it's just unnecessarily distracting coz it suggests it's a new paragraph/scene when it necessary isn't the case. time lapses should also probably be indicated, even if it's just an asterix or a gap immediately preceding it. i'm enjoying this story so far. will do a proper review at the end :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() LOL! I really love your story! especially since it's about a girl who is a strong and a guy who doesn't put her down and that there POVs just come out spontaneously, I really hate those ones whererin they dedicate a whole chapter for this person and another and so on. Also I love it because it was connected to the gaming industry! And I so want to say that YEAH! GIRLS RULE! Irritated though that it took Lila a lot of time for them to get together and also when you change scenes like for example she's here then you show justin at another place I get confused because you only separate them with a single space... Sorry, I like reading organized ones. |
![]() ![]() ![]() LOVE this story, making it to my favorites :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() wowo awesome story D |
![]() ![]() ![]() Aw great story! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Loved the story, but i was beginning to get worried when Lila wasn't willing to get closer on chapter 18. I was just like 'God, no! Two more chapters left. This girl better get over her drama.' But it all worked out. Keep up the great work! M.J. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Great story. loved Justin and usually loved Lila. She was bit stubborn though, which seemed to drag the romance. Biggest problem would be the distinctions between scenes. Otherwise, nice read |
![]() ![]() ![]() Great story! Cute ending, and I love the characters and the whole concept. It was well written, but lacking scene transition and you definitely had typos. Definitely enjoyed it though. |