|Reviews for My Day of Doom|
| an-array-of-starlight chapter 1 . 2/12/2010
"Sometimes I wish I would have died instead."
I feel the same. Why couldn't it be me instead of her?
| HeadofVecna chapter 1 . 10/15/2004
I think that "I dam my feelings up to keep from
Flooding with my tears" would be less awkward as something along the lines of
"I dam my feelings to stop the flood of tears" (note: "my" detracts from the mood. since they are clearly not someone else's tears)
Similarly, "It’s my recall of my memories"
is perhaps stronger as "It’s my recall of memories."
The parallel structure works well, and the summation seems sufficient.