|Reviews for Spider|
| glitterjewele chapter 1 . 8/18/2004
very very nice! you definitely have some interesting images in this, and the speaker's life intrigued me enough that the poem probably could've gone on for a few more stanzas and i'd still have been quite captivated by it. so yes, some awesome lines:
"music sheets lie broken on the floor" i love the texture you gave the music sheets, it was so original. you hear people describe paper as crumbling and yellow, but never as something unflexible with glass-like brittleness, and you made this work so that not only was it intriguing, it was also symbolic.
"a hole in the wall, a hole in my soul" this was just a fabulously constructed line. first, you've got the parallelism, which kind of gives the impression that the speaker's mind is on an inescapable loop. then add that to the actual concept of having a hole in one's soul, and the great sound of the internal rhyme, and it just blew me away.
"but if i opened the grey door i'd see/riches and beauty i was never given" this was such an exquisitly tragic moment, which you made even more poignant by using exquisitely tragic language. it was like, shakespearean tragedy climax good. ja, seriously.
so yes, bottom line, this was an absolutely *amazing* piece of poetry [which i should have read ages, and ages, and bloody ages ago, damn me]! stunning work, chica. :)
| Auralay chapter 1 . 8/13/2004
This poem is, how should I put it? WOW! You so
sorta get a feeling of isolation running through the poem.
Please R&R my stuff?
Love and Bubbles
** Laura **
| The Punk Rock Poet chapter 1 . 8/9/2004
well i liked it becauz it mademe feel like my self at oen time or anotheh r!Good Job !Well written
| midnightowl chapter 1 . 8/7/2004
wow. so amazing. you have AMAZING talent as a poet. keep it up!
| Bleedingtree chapter 1 . 7/28/2004
OMG MIA! i am utterly speechless... do i have permission to put this on my bulletin board. this is absolutely amazing. i think my favorite thing that you've written!
| Dirty Wallpaper chapter 1 . 7/12/2004
wow. that was such a great poem, so sad *hugs* and so cold. you conveyed the atmosphere perfectly, damp, cold, seperate, restricted.
great poem my most infinite chica, id love to write more but im running low on sleep and i can hardly form coherent thoughts.
*hugs* hang in there hon, remember the sunshine and your friends. kudos!
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 7/10/2004
amazing metaphors... I love this poem.. its so beautifully written and hte rhyme is awesome... amazing job!
| Birdaloo chapter 1 . 7/4/2004
you NEVER seace to amaze me!
| IHJ chapter 1 . 7/4/2004
I don't quite understand the third stanza, but the solitude is quite prevalent through this poem.
| Red Vision chapter 1 . 7/4/2004
nice stuff, you're a great writer, read my stuff, see ya