|Reviews for The Hope House|
| empty account chapter 1 . 8/13/2004
I really liket the message of your poem and the story your trying to tell. I think that it could improve poetically if you were to condense it a little. Some suggestions are:
1. leaving out the second line and saying "it's tales" instead of "the tales of the house" in the third.
2. removing the first "I cried" and moving the second one from the end of the 7th line to the beginning of the first.
3. Leaving out the "for"s in the 9th and 10th lines, changing the "we are" to "we were" for tense agreement and changing the ninth line to "what I did was going to help save a life" for flow.
4. i'm nitpicking here: there's a typo in the 4th line it should be "of an infant" instead of "if"
With or without my suggestions you have written an inspiring poem. If you don't agree with what I said completely ignore it, please. Never let anyone infringe upon your poetic style. If you do like my nitpicky review tell me and I'll look over your other poems.
Keep up the great work!
| Jeff Blouin chapter 1 . 8/13/2004
This is a great poem. Gives details on everything. You can actually feel the emotion.