Reviews for I Spy
suzieque2 chapter 1 . 2/11/2005
The feeling I get when I read your work is that you think and narrate these pieces very quickly. Its kind of like a Private Detective Narration/story feel if you know what I mean. You certainly have a knack and a talent.
TheDamned6 chapter 1 . 1/21/2005
Oo, very good. I really like your writing style, and the plot was really good. I think you could have gone into a bit more detail as to what the girl had done to the guy that was so bad he had to kill her. Still, it was a good story, and i think you'll make an excellent writer.
raven-birdie chapter 1 . 7/7/2004
This is a good start so far but first some tips
1.) You should probably put a deeper reason as to why he wants to kill her. It can't just be because she has a perfect life.
2.) The tone of the story doesn't fit the situation. He's sitting there, crouched under her window, and you describe it as if it's something he does every day, nothing new here ppl, kinda thing. If he is insanely calm, mention it. Otherwise, I'd add things like 'the baseball bat began to slip in his grip as his anxiety began to take hold' or something.
Otherwise, good start so far and good luck with it! Please R&R some of my works too.