Reviews for Dawn of Disdain
Cadraver chapter 4 . 4/16/2005
There are many vampire stories around, and very most of them containing vampire hunters with often dark pasts and dangerous present times. But unlike a number that jump straight to the action, you tend to look more into the state of the protagonist, his past and how he feels with the human race as it is.

A realistic outlook, I must say on the views of humanity, however scum-filled we all seem to those who swear to protect the innocent (apparently) from the evil. Good emphasis on this. Plus, a well-done description on almost every form of surrounding that the man enters without having to over-explain oneself. Too much of something good is sometimes not that good.

If there's anything I would need to gripe on about, its about the introduction to Alastair's past. It was a little bit too quick to talk about your character, as if you were doing a little character sheet with his abilities and whatnot (which you thankfully didn't). Pasts and memories, in my opinion should be spread out across the tale rather than be explained in one sitting. Bit by bit, place the memories where the setting seems fit, for instance the thought of battles distracting him as he walks by the crowd.

The bartender seems a bit eager to divulge his information, especially when he mentions the fact that some of 'us' aren't really human. You'd think he'd look over his shoulder first and whisper information a bit. Funny that Alastair would accept a glass of wine from Esdras, though.

In a conclusion, I like your story. It has it bits and is controllably gruesome in some areas without overstepping bounds. Description and interesting usage of vocabulary add to this. Good work. Please do carry on.
lookingwest chapter 3 . 8/7/2004
Nicely done, once more, the vampires are pretty gruesome, nice weapon choices and descriptions of battle. not to mention to transition to the past and to the present.
lookingwest chapter 2 . 8/7/2004
Love the imagrey once again, the details are so in depth it's just a treat to read, i like how you keep the accents and such like you were watching a movie play before your eyes. the version of the vampire is very good too, different, might i add. very beautiful chapter.
lookingwest chapter 1 . 7/10/2004
very well done, i like the imagrey and how everything is described. can't wait for the next installment...
guntherluvsme chapter 1 . 7/10/2004
Good Job.