Reviews for The Wagon
the.pink.life chapter 1 . 6/8/2006
I like this poem, but I think I'd take the word "all" out of the 2nd and 3rd lines, if for nothing else, to make it sound better when you're reading it. It has a very creepy feeling to it, and it's just a haunting piece. You did a good job of creating a tone. Keep writing! :)
estrela chapter 1 . 5/19/2005
the picture you paint with your words is very nice. your usage of words is amazing!
asyousaid chapter 1 . 12/26/2004
Ooh, very "Woman in Black". The idea also reminds me somewhat of the wagons on which people were transported to camps in the Gulag system. I love the idea of the spirit in the machine, too.
Infinity Plus One chapter 1 . 12/14/2004
I like the last line; this is a good poem, and it would be interesting to see what would happen if you were to extend the poem, as the "I see the wagon", "I hear the wagon" could be extended to all the senses.[Sorry about all this poetry-analytic-rambling; I have recently been studying various poems in English for my coursework for my GCSEs.]By the way, from reading your profile, you seem like quite an interesting person.
mlvtgrnfaerie chapter 1 . 10/26/2004
nice... i like how u use your words...
cool title chapter 1 . 10/9/2004
dude this is cool
i like the spirit
but truthfull it means nothing
i'll leave it at that
cool title chapter 1 . 10/9/2004
dude this is cool
i like the spirit
but truthfull it means nothing
i'll leave it at that
mizu no kokoro chapter 1 . 10/8/2004
very interesting poem!
although
more rhyming could help make it flow better
Myogenic chapter 1 . 7/20/2004
I'm reviewing! Like you asked!
I thought it was very good, the first bit created a very vivid image, you could really see what the wagon was like. I also liked the end where you just repeated 'the wagon...'
Keep it up! ;-)
glass-of-water chapter 1 . 7/13/2004
Wow, this is a nice poem. Personally, it conjured up a lot of imagery in my mind. There is obviously a lot of significance behind it for you also. Well done.