Reviews for Thunder Heart
lirantha chapter 1 . 8/24/2004
I've glanced through a few of your more recent poems, and if there's one thing that jumps out at me, it's your wonderful descriptions of moments of peace (I'm thinking of the last half or so of this piece, but there are many other examples.) I don't know the technical term for this, but the rhythm of 5/6, 5/6, 11/12 syllables that emerges in the last few "stanzas" does so much to add to the soothing effect of the lines, and I love that the last line stops at 10, leaving you anticipating, with the speaker, the "challenge of life" ahead. One small thing I would suggest is to divide "I pine for rest and a shelter to hide" into two lines, as in "I pine for rest / and a shelter to hide" - just so it would match the first rhythmic pattern you set up in that half of the piece. Granted, the next two lines break the pattern anyway unless you combine them into one rather long line - just thinking that might help with the impression of "choppiness" someone noted. But beautifully done.
EmeraldEyes89 chapter 1 . 7/27/2004
I LOVE IT! And it isn't choppy (::laughs:: Yeah..I read the other reviews for it...hehe) Wow...I am flippin hyper now...I think I put a bit too much sugar in the sweet-cornbread that I made, and maybe I shouldn't have had that coffee this morning. ::laughs:: we all know what it does to me. I've went for almost 2 full days without being upset, so hopefully I can keep it that way. Loves ya!
Mandy
armatageShanx chapter 1 . 7/27/2004
I like! *adds to favourites*
Linnet chapter 1 . 7/27/2004
Nice, very nice! You first captured my attention with your summary, and then your rhyme scheme, because it's simply beautiful. I could not explain to you exactly what I liked about your poem, but it sort of stirred something inside of me. Going on my faves.
-Linnet
poetic666dream chapter 1 . 7/26/2004
It's nice, but might be a bit easier to read if it were not so choppy.