Reviews for Merciless
I Murder on Impulse chapter 48 . 3/15/2009
This is a beautiful story...the whole last chapter had me crying.

xx
leemya chapter 48 . 8/4/2006
Hi,

I read your story and loved it except the part where her Richard beat her, but loved it anyway.

What happened to the children? Did Hugh take them?

I love Hugh :)!

Great story again.
cinnamon-24 chapter 17 . 12/2/2005
That's really too bad, it was going well and then...oh well I knew I never liked hugh. I'll just have to finish it in my head. You were very promising too.
cinnamon-24 chapter 15 . 12/2/2005
I think it's great!
cinnamon-24 chapter 12 . 12/2/2005
I confess I like Richard better.
cinnamon-24 chapter 10 . 12/2/2005
he he he
cinnamon-24 chapter 9 . 12/2/2005
But which is it. I praythee. Make one do somehing so terrible so that I'll know which one to let myself really like.
cinnamon-24 chapter 5 . 12/2/2005
Oh (Do I keep doing that?) My problem is I don't know whick one to like best!)
cinnamon-24 chapter 4 . 12/2/2005
hm. this is interesting
cinnamon-24 chapter 3 . 12/2/2005
oh
none chapter 48 . 7/29/2005
I really did like this story. It took a lot of courage not to write a "happy ending." Bravo.
GodzGirl chapter 48 . 7/9/2005
I'd love to give you an indepth review of this story, but it is still sinking in. I've loved this story since I started it, and I loved it till the end. It started as so happy, I had no idea it would become so dreadfully depressing. Beautiful in life in the beginning, Beautiful in death at the end. Uh, so sad.
Sahara Hayden chapter 48 . 7/6/2005
First off, I thoroughly enjoyed this story, from beginning to end. Every time I got an Author Alert in my inbox from you, I immediately read the chapter, no matter what. You kept me hooked throughout the whole thing, I never once questioned whether I should spend time reading this story...you write very well, with enough details to satisfy the reader, but you spend a lot of time on the dialogue, which I liked...paragraphs and paragraphs of endless description are way too boring, but no description at all is too; you had just the right balance. You create very strong characters, and you helped me experience a lot of different emotions. I liked the way you did the epilogue from Hugh's point of view..it was different and a nice touch, and it made it seem all the more , there are some things I recommend you change. In the epilogue, Hugh seemed to come to his senses a little too quickly...it seems that once Kindley told him Lord Rawlings wasn't his father, he remembered...the dream helped too, but it just seemed a little unrealistic. My favorite line of his was:" You can’t keep a promise to a dead man." This shows just how desperate Hugh is to know who he really is. This is a perfect example of your realistic dialogue. But I would change that...give him more time to think...make some more memories come back to , I think that in chapter 47, when Mercedes was begging Hugh to remember who he was, you could've added a little more emotion.“ You are him, I know it.” Tears streamed down my face, though desperate, I had already pleaded with him once in my life. No part of me wanted to do it again. This was very good..it showed just how desperate Mercedes was for High to remember. The farewell was good too, although I think you should've done something more like:I stood and walked slowly out of the room. As I crossed the threshold I turned back and whispered a farewell; tears burning my vision. I don’t know if he heard it, I don’t even know if I really said it. All I know is that I walked out of his house and into the dark street. was good, but it just seemed a little dry. Perhaps more dialogue in the end; you could add more to the fact that she is practically begging him to remember who he of your chapters were very repetitive, as well. Although you added some nice twists and stuff, it seemed that every once and awhile a chapter would follow this pattern:-Mercedes does something Richard doesn't like-Richard gets mad at her-Richard beats herYou had a lot of these kinds of chapters; but it opened up an oppourtunity to talk about how Mercedes was really feeling, and to make the reader feel sorry for her.I think you also could've explained more about Richard..it seemed like he was actually starting to become kind of nice...like he kind of realized what he was really doing to Mercedes, because most of the times when he beat her, he was drunk. I think you could've added more to his character in the end. And what will happen to Charles and Josette? I assume that Mercedes father will raise them...although I think you could've talked about that.I also think that Richard's change came about too quickly...he loved Mercedes one chapter, and then the next he despised her and beat her. I do understand that you want the story to move fast, and it's only something I just noticed as I was skimming over the beginning chapters. Keep in mind, you don't need to change any of the things mentioned above...they are merely , you did a wonderful job, and, as no story is perfect, here are my suggestions. Keep up the good work!_~Sahara~
anne chapter 48 . 7/5/2005
Bravo on an enthralling and excellent story! I wouldn't change anything plot-wise, but my only suggestion would be to lessen the emphasis on Mercedes's "giving up" in the final chapters. She started out so spirited and proud- I would let that aspect of her character remain for a little longer. I have loved reading this story and I hope you write many more in your time off!
Sahara Hayden chapter 47 . 7/5/2005
Oh my...this chapter was really sad...I feel so sorry for Mercedes! What will she do next? Can't wait to read more!~Sahara~
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