damn

MUAHAHAHAHA

I know you said in your profile (yes, I read author profiles) that readers should ignore the stuff before 2005, but that kind of intrigued me. And the summary line for this particular one-shot was very interesting, so I decided to take a look. I am so glad I did - this is fabulous. Comeuppance, emotion, a sense of camaraderie even while there is dark and disturbing stuff happening, and Andrea's behaviour was certainly a surprise. Great story! You're too hard on yourself!

Muahahaah

This was really good. I've never read anything like this before and it was written wonderfully and the characters are great and wow.

I do wish I could form some better review, but yeah.

x

KARMA! The step-dad totally just got owned by karma!

But seriously, that was good. its sad and fierce and, its actually a problem in the world, so I don't really know what to say...

This is my ultimate favorite story. Of all time. Ever. I cannot tell you how many times I've read it - it'd be too embarrassing. But truly, this story is honestly great, on so many levels. It awes me with each subsequent read. You are a god.

...So now that I've finished fangirling...

Why I Love This to an Unhealthy Amount:

1) The first line is incredible - attention-grabbing, original, and appealing, and even more meaningful after you realize the reason she's asking for something so stupid.

2) Your characters - even the ones you want to punch in the face. Especially the ones you want to punch in the face. Your tiny details make them so powerful - for example, Marion's mother, eating her food with an 'It-Pains-Me-To-Eat-This expression'. Or Sam, who speaks like he's forgotten he's not singing. Sam was not a bad person, but there's just something unlikable about him - he's too weak, he's too meek. Fantastic job with him. And Andrea - I don't even have to say anything about Andrea.

3) SO well planned out. Ingeniously so.

4) I wonder if there was any meaning behind Andrea's love for blaring static? If you'd investigated that, I think it'd be extremely interesting. Besides, we'd get more on Andrea, and who would argue that?

5) Marian's character. She was so obviously disturbed, and yet she was evidently bent on holding onto her sanity. This is especially seen when she's trying to explain herself to the police officer in the beginning, but she keeps twisting her story around or adding sudden details because she doesn't actually have a story...

And this:

6) "She's not dead," she says.

She says, "Can't you even kill someone?"

"Do I have to do everything?" she says. She's not really asking. She takes the gun, goes back around. I close my eyes. Sam is crying. Bang. Bang.

...is SO INCREDIBLY WRITTEN. Wow. Andrea is saying all three lines of dialogue, but the way you split them up into three separate lines shows how Marian's brain is totally scrambled right now and her world is exploding and moving in slow motion and she can't believe what is happening - and yet, Andrea, Andrea is totally in control, Andrea is completely assured of what she's doing and saying.

So in conclusion... YOU'RE AMAZING.

That is all.

I love this story, and this review did not capture even a fraction of my love for it. I cannot explain to you how much this story has affected and inspired me.

Keep writing.

Serves the bastard right. I like Andrea. Personally, I think that if she was a little more unbalanced, she'd be the one who ends up as a serial killer. But she's too cool for that.

But seriously, this is one very well thought out mofo. I like it.

cool!

Wow. Wow. Oh bloody f*ck wow.

That is one amazingly planned out and written s.o.b. of a story.

That should be published in something like a short story collection/etc.

Really left me breathless with the impact.

Oh, I love it. This reminds me of my aunt's stepchildren who got molested by their own mother o_o

that was suprisingly good. i liked it ;P

Wow. *adds to favorites*

hah he got exactly what was coming to him!

Wow, this is one insanely fd up story... and i like it!

except the part where Andrea gets all homicidal... that was yea.. pretty scary, but she's still cool and very clever when it comes to framing people. Anyways good story.