|Reviews for WHO AM I?|
| Tearsofthemoon77 chapter 6 . 3/13/2008
I think that everyone struggles with these questions all the time, and that only proves that you shouldn't stop asking them.
| anon chapter 6 . 12/5/2005
"The only difference between our marriage and any one else's is: we know ours is a sham."~this is a rather interesting quote, found in an interesting place. How truthful. If you are interested in romance you might consider reading Peter S. Beagle's "A Fine and Private Place." It's really a facinating piece of literature, with a message that is both cynical, and touching. :D ~Toadshade
| anon chapter 5 . 12/5/2005
Anger Management~ good movie. Mind games are an important part of human culture. They are a way of testing the creativity and intelligence of an individual. Lying fits under the same category. Nature is a peaceful reminder of the weakness of humans. All are "mind games" pale in comparison to its true cruelty and deceptions. Humans come and go, but rocks are forever. :D ~Toadshade
| anon chapter 4 . 12/5/2005
How interesting. Some guys just don't appreciate the fact that romance novels really do serve a purpose. Girls can be so easily manipulated, and those guys just can't seem to learn that. Those novels of the more "sappy" varity may be used as teaching tools. Friends. Friends are an entirely different thing. Sure it would be nice to find friends who would truly care. But most of us will settle for temporary alliances and the toleration of others. :D ~Toadshade
| anon chapter 3 . 12/5/2005
You seem to be in a dangerous situation, the whole "Does she like me, or will she 'crush my ego like a popcicle on a hot road'". But consider the fact that you are not any mor ehuman than anyone else. For all you know, the girl could think the same thing. Or not. :D ~Toadshade
| anon chapter 2 . 12/5/2005
It's good to see that there are some people to help the little children, they really need it. Amazing, they way being tall will instantly gain the respect of child. The Boyscouts are a great organization. :D ~Toadshade
| anon chapter 1 . 12/5/2005
"I am Willie Wonka, hiding my secrets. No one gets in; nothing gets out." ~That is a very interesting parallel. How nice it would be if there was someone who could be trusted enough to tell everything to, but people are not like that. As a general rule, no person would be willing to do that. Even if you told someone your deepest-truest feelings, they would most likely laugh at them, not out of any real spite, but out of the uneasy guilt that they feel, knowing that they could never be that honest. A wise man once said "Mankind is made out of two words 'mank' and 'ind.' If the meaning of these words was known, then we know a great deal more about the human race." People are mean. :D ~Toadshade
| White-Dragon-Goddess chapter 1 . 9/1/2005
Hey. Who do you think you are? I believe that if you think really hard, you can come up to a conclusion. One noone else can really know. Only you can decide who you are, only you can find who you are. You gave me support in one of my poems, I'll give you support now. Your works question yourself, but you have to believe. By the way, I'm also an anime fan! Do you write for ? I do.
| Cirex chapter 6 . 8/15/2005
Something else... based off the last two reviews (or perhaps the first one; wasn't that a lovely memoir?), I'm not a wacked-out druggee or somebody who's found peace with crystal meth.
I got plenty of issues still. I like to think that I'm more emotionally stable then I was a few years ago. I like to believe that I can talk about anything, ANYTHING, even the sensitive stuff in my life. If it's in a serious discussion, not somebody poking fun.
Another thing... I know I've been mostly talking about myself in the last couple of reviews. Just wanted to emphasize that it's to show that there are others like you. So we have something to connect on, a bit in common.
I also know what you mean when you talk about how your rationale changes all the time. :) Join the club.
And as for love. Is there really a difference between love and deep friendship? Does there need to be? I mean, how many married couples say that they married their best friend? I guess though, that there are two kinds of love: sexual and, well, compassionate. The way I define it is, if this person died, or moved away, would I care? Would I be sad? Or would I not give a crap.
Anyway, that's all for now.
| Cirex chapter 5 . 8/15/2005
Me again. Hope my last review wasn't too long.
Anyway, I know EXACTLY what you mean when you talk about mind games. I mean, exactly. Maybe even more then you do :P. The reason is that is one of my biggest pet peeves. Mind games, masks, saying one thing, but meaning another, not saying everything that you're feeling. If I had a genie, two wishes I'd want are (1) a remote controller that could pause time and (2) the ability to read everybody's mind.
I have a friend who I've known for a long time. One of the biggest problems I've had with him (though I've never actually discussed it with him) is mind games. I'm constantly trying to guess what he's thinking in regards to me. On the other side, I have a friend who's very open, blunt. When I first met him, it was a huge refreshment from the usual mask crap I go through.
Who am I kidding... I wear a mask a lot of the time... though I hate it. How does that work?
Anyway, Valentine's has passed by already, so I guess you made your decision regarding the girl. Hope it worked out for you.
If you want to talk about any of the stuff I've rambled about for the past two reviews, email me. The address is in my profile, naturally. :)
| Cirex chapter 4 . 8/15/2005
I had to review at this point. Wow we have a lot in common :P.
This is going to be a long review, btw.
I can see so many things you're talking about now that happened in my life. I don't know how similar our school systems are, but for a good three years of school, I was ridiculed on a daily basis for being myself. It was quite a bit of a shock. Going from happy-go-lucky, not caring, doing what I thought was fun in one grade to WHAM! Next grade I meet lots of 'fun' people who don't think a lot of how I act and lable me as a target. Ridicule, a lack of friends, and humiliation on a regular basis. My personality completly changed over those years so that I grew to wall off my emotions.
What can I say? From seeing 'cool' people making fun of me for not dressing in the correct ways, or listening to the correct music, or talking correctly, etc. etc. I gotta say, I formed a deeply driven hatred of all things cool. Still do harbour a large degree of dislike for the affection our society has for it.
High school was similar. I was who I was. Not cool, thus a social outcast. I refused to conform to the standards the mob set for being in the 'in-crowd' and don't really care about what people think of me for it.
I lied. I always will care about what people think of me, even if I never met them before. The simple reason for why is that, during those gruesome years of humiliation, I developed a sense of wanting to know what exactly people thought of me, wanting to know if they thought I wasn't cool. And yet I like to claim I don't care.
It's a wonderful paradox, isn't it?
Like you, I had very few people to talk to. Well, actually not really anybody. So I locked up the feelings inside. I gotta warn you though, don't keep them there. Letting issues boil inside your heart is really unhealthy.. and I should know.
What else? Ah, girls... I, a boy, am almost 19. I've also been in university for a year. And guess what? I have never kissed a girl in my life (excluding cousins and all that). Nor have I ever been on a date. And, the obvious last one, never had a girlfriend. Well ok, there was a passionate romance I had in kindergarten... she ended up moving away the next year. Point is, you're not alone. I, like you, am not gay. Am I worried about finding somebody? No.. and yes. Sometimes stuff happens. You know how people say that 'five years ago I would never have imagined that I'd be where I am today'? Well, that's what I mean. You never know. You may meet somebody at Boyscouts. You may meet somebody at College. Or at your job. You just never know when that special someone may come along, so just bide your time.
Another thing... I never went to dances either. I went to one, and ended up spending the majority of it in the guy's changeroom, waiting for it to end. Not the greatest experience, I might add. Another thing. I didn't go to my high school grad dance. I went to my middle school grad, and was even asked to dance by two girls (probably because they felt sorry for me) and you know what I said? "I don't dance". Just b/c of my phobia of girls. Talk about turning down opportunities. If I could have gone back in time, I wouldv'e said yes for sure... well... probably would have said yes... I like to believe that I would've said yes. :P And I also do not have a girlfriend at this time, facing my second year of uni.
This is probably more suited to an email then a review, but what the heck. I just wanted to say that there are other guys like us in the world, so stick with it. And pouring it out in FP is a good idea. I have a journal (a well-hidden one, I might add).
Anyway, take care of yourself. You will find yourself, I guarantee it. It just takes a little time sometimes, like it did with me.
'Sides, I got plenty of chips on my shoulders. :P
| Rach chapter 6 . 2/25/2005
HI!. um my only memory about nuresy is visiting one for disabled kids and banged my head on a coat peg and having a packet of pea on my head.
ok now to the actually review um I know this is easier said then done but maybe you could just say hi to someone who's nice maybe and start from there as it's never too late to make friends.#
please update soon
| PunkLycan chapter 3 . 2/23/2005
"I really like her, and I know she likes me too, but I don’t know if she likes me the way I like her, and I really don’t want to loose the friendship I have with her now, so I don’t say anything. I just hang back and do little things that I don’t do for anyone else at school but her. Somehow, I don’t think she notices."
Heh, you said that perfectly. I say the same thing about shiro, but only... it's more broken and less sensible so when I try to tell other people they just look at me weird and say "huh?" so I've given up on trying to express them. I'll give shiro little hints here and there to let him know how I feel, whether he catches them or not I do not know.. but he still talks to me all the time and he makes me smile and he makes me feel loved. Whether he means to do that is another thing I don't know. But I like our relationship, I hope it never changes, whether we become lovers or just good friends, I hope we can still talk the way we do now. I know I probably don't have to prove anything to you but I feel like I always have to prove things to other people because I'm so used to my family and so called friends not believing in me. But one time I found myself talking to shiro about.. what color undergarments we wear. lol. It was interesting and funny, but it made me realize that I can actually tell shiro anything and everything and not have to worry about seeming stupid. Because he and I both know he's the bigger idiot... lol. (he said it, not me!) But yeah, even just talking about him and our fun times is making me smile. I haven't talked to him today or yesterday, I hope he's alright. -prays-
Another thing, what exactly are paradox's? I'm young and undereducated.. lol. That's the way I see it. and it's probably because that's how I feel other's see it too. Next topic: Yes, I have done sports practices. It sucks... when I first started track practice I was so sore. lol. then it got better and I would be pretty energetic. I'm not as tired any more.. (exempting this week because I'm sick and not practicing) but yeah, I love track. My show comes on soon so I'd better moove my ass. lol.. I can't call myself fat otherwise shiro will yell at me.. lol. the fact that you are opening up is good. it's not good to keep things bottled up. -smiles-
| PunkLycan chapter 2 . 2/23/2005
Hello again, friend. I don't really understand that whole "J" thing. I actually had the chance to stay home today.. eventhough I did yesterday. Having a close bond with someone in your family can be good and can be bad. My older brother and I have a great bond. We are really close, eventhough he is 6 years older than me. We do fight a lot, but it's not that bad. As for my little sister, she's just so annoying, I hate it. And she always gets babied when ever I try to shut her up because she's the baby of the family. Who am I? The ugly red-headed step child?... I wish... then that'd be a reason for my family to hate me... but no.. they just hate me because I'm different. So what if I don't really like having a social life.. the main thing out here is drugs anyways. I stay away from things like that. I'm such a goodie, but who cares, I like it like that.
I'm glad you found some way of making a difference in the world. As for me, I haven't.. although, I do have writing. but it's not all that good. I write poetry a lot, or used to anyways, now I can only write when I'm really inspired. I guess I sort of make a difference in life because I take care of my nieces and nephews a lot. I like to take them places such as the park and teach them how to swing, or do the monkey bars. It's a lot of fun watching them grow, but it's scary because the older they get the more I feel they are going to get to know what I am all about and begin to hate me. If they do, oh well, so much for being the cool, fun auntie. -smiles- I like to spend time with my nieces, although now I get very impatient easily, it's hard to stay calm. Working with kids does teach you a lot, it takes time, effort, patience, responsibility, and thoughfulness. You have to be able to teach as well as learn. And I admire that in other people because, I'm not so good at it myself. lol. Well, my show is on, and I should probably shower.. I smell like sickness... lol... I guess I'll read more later, if I wake up at 2 like I did this morning. that was fun. You take care now.
| PunkLycan chapter 1 . 2/22/2005
Wow, you are really... secluded. Your thoughts make perfect sense.. because.. I think them. The person I am around the people at school and the person I am around Amelia and Shiro are two different people. It's like, I worry that the real me is too stupid, or weird for everyone else. OR that everyone will just like... riot and kill me if I show them the REAL me. and I don't know who I am.. it's a common question to ask who you are. yes, I know what I like and don't like.. yet.. I have a very open mind.. so it's not REALLY defined yet. I do know that I like shiro though. And I like the fact that I can just be perfectly open and not get shot down or insulted or criticized. And he's open with me and I don't put him down, or insult, or criticize him either. It's a good friendship we have.. I wan't it to be more.. but I don't know how he will react to that. I might just push him away by telling him my feelings towards him... I dunno.. I wish that my love life could be like the ones I read in books. Especially like the one that Danica and Zane have in the book Hawksong and it's sequel Snakecharm... Both by Amelia Atwater-Rhodes. Well.. it's late.. and I have to shower for school tomorrow so I'll let you go.