|Reviews for The Path of Love|
| Pretend Jane chapter 21 . 5/20/2009
Okay, I noticed you wrote this story over a long period of time. So I'm thinking you forgot some of the details of your story. Take this paragraph for instance:
"I found out that he was a Marine, and working his way up to the top. His death had been an honorable one, but damn it! Who the hell cared about honor? Didn’t Evan know how dangerous being a Marine was?"
First you said Evan joined the Army, then the Navy, and now the Marines? That's three different branches. If he did all that, he'd be one busy guy. Plus, I'm pretty sure that military police and the civilian police operations are usually separate. So I don't get why Evan was investigating something related to civilians...or was it? I guess I'll see.
| Pretend Jane chapter 16 . 5/20/2009
Kyle's dad is an a-hole. Who lets their kid grow up in a trailer Park? His mother should have tried to get child support. She would have had Kyle's dad's money for 18 years! lol.
I think you should fix something in this chapter. You said Evan joined the Army then said he joined the Navy. You should chose one or the other because they're two different branches of the military. I think anyone into the whole military branch rivalry would get annoyed with it seeming like they were the exact same thing.
| Pretend Jane chapter 13 . 5/20/2009
How stupid is Peter? He takes Elva to see a band that Kyle is in? It is like he's ruining his own cause.
Rapist Rick nearly struck again. They need to watch this guy.
| Pretend Jane chapter 12 . 5/20/2009
Uh, what is with Peter? Elva just broke up with Kyle and already he's on her like white on rice. I mean Jeez, talk about not giving her time to get over some guy. He must be dying to be a rebound or something.
| Pretend Jane chapter 11 . 5/20/2009
Hey, you wrote an author's note saying you meant to correct the Liz hair color thing. I just wanted to tell you, you still have her as a red head. I'm glad you didn't mean for her to be a red head. I thought that color was something unique about Elva.
Anyway, I noticed from your profile you're from China or lived there? I love China. I study it a lot at school because I love Asian History. I hope you one day do a story set in China. I love stories about different cultures. Mostly everyone on FP does stories set in the US and I'd rather read stories set in different countries because the US is more of the same for me.
Anyway, I'll continue reading...
| Pretend Jane chapter 10 . 5/20/2009
I called it! I thought Rick could be the rapist, especially after he tried to rape elva. I also can't believe that so many of your reviewers want Jed and Elva together. So they're not related, but they grew up as brother and sister. I'm sorry but that is plain weird to me that your reviewers think this.
Plus, I think it's obvious you set up Kyle and Elva to be together from the beginning, so that is why I started thinking he wasn't a rapist.
For all the people who want Jed and Elva together, they need to ask themselves if they would want to date a guy they've known since they were babies and grew up with like brother and sister. It isn't all that appealing when you put yourself in Elva's shoes. This is completely different from meeting a guy when you're older than a baby say pre-teens and up. When you're that age it is easy not to see someone as a brother, but when you grow up as babies together...you know what I mean.
| Pretend Jane chapter 7 . 5/20/2009
Jed weirded me out when he kissed her. I mean they grew up as brother and sister for goodness sake. He should have kept those feelings to himself, especially when he knew she only saw him as a brother.
| Pretend Jane chapter 5 . 5/19/2009
Now I'm starting to wonder if it was really Kyle or Rick who raped Susan. Their methods of dragging girls off and duct taping them seemed awfully similar though. Makes me wonder if Kyle hasn't shown his true colors in that regard. I guess I'll find out. I thought it seemed really bold of Rick to try to rape her on the first day. Did he only do that to get back at Kyle?
| Pretend Jane chapter 4 . 5/19/2009
As much as I'm enjoying this story right now, I find this sentence a huge contradiction:
"I still didn't understand why Jed hated Kyle that much or his sudden burst of anger. He shouldn't care so much. I was only his sister."
Umm...did you forget that Jed hated Kyle for supposedly raping Susan- his best friend and girlfriend? Why would she even want to kiss a guy she heard raped another girl? She heard this from her bro too for goodness sake. It isn't like Jed has a reason to lie. Even if Kyle isn't a rapist, Elva doesn't know this yet. So I find her sudden memory blank only a few chapters later really weird.
| leesuh chapter 2 . 5/9/2009
I fricking love this story so much :) this is my 3rd time reading it :) ugh you are an amazing writer and you deserve lots of props for this story :)
| loserson1 chapter 1 . 4/25/2009
| Masked Ducky chapter 31 . 4/20/2009
Oh I've loved reading every second of this. Please please please update soon. I won't to see them together and rubbing it in that horrible Liz's face.
| deathanddawn chapter 32 . 4/12/2009
MY FAVOURITE STORY EVER! COULD NOT SSTOP READING! YOU ARE AMAZING! it was brilliant. cant think of anything else to stay! such a perfet ending!
one suggestion though- maybe a one-shot five year later sorta thing! please please please...
| Death's Sweet Kiss chapter 6 . 4/3/2009
If you decide to redo this story...I'd like to read it.
I only got up to the sixth chapter, but there are quite a few grammatical errors and parts where words seem to be missing. This makes it a bit difficult to read.
Also, for me, the largest hook-up I'm having is that her brother told her that Kyle raped one of his best friends, someone that she apparently liked too.
If my brother told me this, I would certainly stay away and I would also understand why my brother would attack the guy, despite if I liked him or not.
To me, she's fallen for him too fast. He's a rapist, that should be the first thing in her mind.
If you decide to redo this story, shoot me an e-mail and I'll read it.
| BlueberryMuffinMonster chapter 32 . 3/15/2009
absolutly loved the story ! need an epilogue