Reviews for Bleh |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Well I am close enough to finishing it I still plan on it. I However am done with reviews. I really can't stand Ivan and I really don't feel like beating a dead horse. He is emo, a big baby, and has no redeeming qualities yet everyone likes him. Add all this to the fact that he is immature and has God-like power makes him overpowered and one dimensional. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Story still going very well. The character interactions are a little flat though. Telling us the king was sad is not as good as showing us. |
![]() ![]() ![]() It's funny, even though you finished this a while back you have adressed all the problems I mentioned earlier. Well back to enjoying your story. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Ok much better. You can't have an assassin who is just a nice kindhearted guy who happens to murder people for a living. Rather than a sociopath with no emotions or self centered character you went with a split personality. Not my first choice but it does explain everything so far. Good job. |
![]() ![]() ![]() A little more human reactions this chapter for Ivan. That's good. I still wish he had some reason for keeping her around other than his "conscious" Which he can not have that much of if he is a murder. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I know you are finished and probably will never see these reviews. But, I'll review like the story is still new. Everything is solid except for Ivan. There needs to be some justification to why he will kill with out hesitation yet takes this girl with him. I'm sure they end up falling for each other but you could have put some reason for them to be together in the story. Ie he/his mother were slaves. Or he was planning on selling her. Or she gave him some other reason she would be worth the trouble. |
![]() ![]() ![]() So far not a bad start. Good base story line. The only complaint I have is the assassin's opinion to slavery. There is no reason given why a cold blooded murder like him would hate slavery so much. Also he sounds like Harry potter talking to dobbie it dosnt really portray an assassin very well. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Brillant. I'm certain that I've read this story before because it's in my favorites, but It was definitely worth reading again. A truely original story. |
![]() ![]() ![]() why did he kill himself. He just lost all my respect for him with his stupid selfish actions. suicide is overrated |
![]() ![]() ![]() thanks for ruining the fucking ending you jackass, Al. god i hate people like that |
![]() ![]() I'v read her story 3 times and every time i am Captivated. i'v have spoken with Silver Hornet wall in production of this story. the end of this story is an alternate.(duh) she told me once that she could not think of what to right. |
![]() ![]() ![]() great story. I really enjoyed the read. Thanks for every word. |
![]() ![]() Oh... my... god... Thank you. For a no holds barred amazingly romantic and yep simple story. You didn't much it up, you just told it like it is! AMAZING! The only weird part is the last line... "And then Ivan decided that his life was not worth living and he killed himself." huuh? I guess i can understand writing stress _ still! Awesome story! I loved it! I love Ivan and Nitria! Yay! I'd ask for a sequel but it seems almost complete already! I'm not sure if u would have enough material to write a continuation. Meybe about Abigail's adventures i don't know. Awesome stuff though. |
![]() ![]() ![]() what a beautiful ending... i really love reading it... so happy... Y-Y |
![]() ![]() GAH , you definately would hav ehad people hunting you down if you ended it with Ivan killing himself gri didn't care for the way you ended it . But on a whole It was most excellant !wonderful job blacky |