That was really good. You captured most hero's perfectly. Sometimes the rhyming seems a little off, but that might just me. It actually sounds like the antogonist in my story. He was the hero, though, until I decided I liked him better evil.

Oh, I love this! It has a beautiful, beautiful flow, a great choice of words and the context is gorgeous. In the way of C.C., there is, in my opinion, definitely nothing to say.
All I can do is give compliments, and add this in my Favourite Stories list. _
-Rachel
P.S. - Thankyou for your review. Broken Apart was written around a year ago, when I had just started with long poem/songs, and I didn't have too much experience then. I don't really like it, but some of my friends did, and they persuaded me to upload it here.

Wow, this is really good. It leaves me asking, "Who are you, and how did you get inside my head?"

Hi! I really liked this poem-the rhyme scheme worked, I believe. I'm building a website for the display of good original art, visual and literary. Would you be interested in contributing this poem to the site? I would credit you and you would retain all copyright. If you're interested, email me at
PS: Here's a link to the site:
.com

This is good. Reminds me of the protagonist in a story I'm writing.

Very well portrayed! You have written the angst of a hero perfectly.
Great work!