The monkeys eyes stare at me, sparkling.

That's the translation you wanted. I got the inspiration from my dog's toy. This was... ok, and I'm certain that you were very inspired when you wrote it. I could feel it. The only advice I can give you on this, is to elaborate immensely. Also, choose words appropriately. You never read the word "smooch" in a dramatic story. This could've used immense elaboration, but, all in all, it was pretty nice. Thanks for reviewing Saru de Jaaku (which, by the way, means - ha ha - Evil by Monkey). I hope you review more of my stuff in the future, and that you update this soon and continue to write!

YO!
This is really good! Very well written, but not very long. I look forward to sum more chapters!
Ja ne TrunkZy the Mighty!

Great beginning. Action packed and builds up many questions. Keep writing!

this is pretty good, but u should work on describing things more.
thanks for reviewing my story!

hey dude! I found ur story! just leavin a review..its good..teach me how to do this pleeze?..thnx..-ciao