|Reviews for Divorce|
| pointythings chapter 1 . 8/30/2004
I like this. It's a very nice concept, and mostly well-written, though I have a couple of suggestions as usual:
Look out for words that aren't poetic-sounding, and either replace or erase. For example: severe dolor, notably, incubus. And look out for unnecessary descriptions: literally Godsent miracle kown as, violently protective.
Be careful of grammar; a couple of times you use two words where only one should be used, and it's would have, not would of.
I think you could get more out of this, too. I'd like to see more about the last line, about wanting to look into his eyes again.
Sorry I'm being so critical; that's just how I am. I was like this when I was reviewing my mom's thesis paper too, and she was getting her Master's degree! Don't take it too personally.
| Mary chapter 1 . 8/20/2004
Wow Dan, thats deep.
| Rachel chapter 1 . 8/18/2004
Wow. That was really a good one. The title tells all, but the poem gets to a lot more than just the definition of the word.
| Turkey chapter 1 . 8/17/2004
wow Danni! that was awesome! the only thing i had a poblem with was it seemed as tho you couldn't make up your mind whether or not to put this poem in 'rythym' (sp?). at times it was and some it wasn't. the poem would be so much better if you chose one or the other.