Reviews for Why forgive?
addie pray chapter 1 . 3/5/2005
Really shattering poem, I hope I have room for this on my favorites. Each stanza is powerful enough to stand on it's own, but together it just flows beautifully. Well done.

On a less pleasant note, I truly hope that 'SILVA-eR' learns to use the English language sometime soon. It's very difficult to translate preteen net-squabble into a readable form.
SilentRiver chapter 1 . 1/31/2005
ANother good one.
David Stephen chapter 1 . 12/22/2004
Inspirational and very great. ~DS~
FyreFaery chapter 1 . 12/8/2004
I really, really liked this... short, succinct, but totally in alignment with my own ideas about God. Thank you for your review, btw.
RuathaWehrling chapter 1 . 9/19/2004
Hello, and thanks for your review on "Adege". :) Now it's my turn. I don't have much time, so I'll stick with a poem instead of a story. Here goes!
~
1.) Something sounds wrong with "I do not believe in you." I guess, in my opinion, it would mesh better with the rest of the stanza if it was "don't". I say that because you've already established a fairly colloquial tone, by using "you've" and "there's". You might consider it.
2.) "An excuse." and also "Actions." both sound strange. I think it's because in all the other paragraphs, the final line is about the same length as all the others. But in these ones, it's really short. It's inconsistant. To be honest, I kind of like the short ending lines better, just because they force you to sit up and pay attention.
3.) "But I cant close my eyes" - "can't".
4.) Just in general, I might note that you seem to have no pattern to your rhythm in this poem. Now, I'm not saying that a strict "10 syllables a line" rule is required or anything, but could you maybe make it a little more... parallel between stanzas? I think it would add a lot of power to it. This is related to #2 up there, too. Just be consistant in how long you want your phrases to be, and it'll flow better.
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Ok, grammar checking all done now! :) As far as the content goes, I really like it. I've had similar thoughts myself, occasionally - usually as I'm watching the evening news and hearing about some 17-year-old suicide bomber in Israel or something. :( I guess my take on it is still a bit more optimistic than yours, though. Is it possible that God exists, and that He's very disappointed in us? After all, I can't think of a single major religion that advises violently trying to convert others to their faith.
So yes, I think there are far too many out there who are abusing religion and using it as "something to hide behind" - but I won't go so far as to say that the belief in God (or gods, if you prefer) is flat out wrong. Maybe it's just us stupid humans screwing up things again.
Maybe next time you see a depressing news report, you might remember that. It's not usually the religion that's wrong - it's the followers. :(
Thanks for the insightful piece. I hope you haven't gotten any flames over it from religious bigots out there!
Ruatha
tabiboi chapter 1 . 9/17/2004
I know this feeling- too true. There's so much right in front of you to tell you he isn't real, but you still kind of want to believe, because everyone else around you seems to.
Great writing!
-Tabi
bfmusashi chapter 1 . 8/21/2004
this is a very good, strong poem. i'm neutral on god myself, so i wasn't offended by anything you said-i think i agree with a lot of it, actually. nice work.
Cthulhu chapter 1 . 8/19/2004
I agree, the facade of religion is not enough to disguise cruel practices and unnesecary deaths of innocents.
Many Christions also decide to pick and choose or even doctor pieces from the Bible so that they can fit "God's words" to whatever thay like, for example; the simply terrifying power of the Christian Coalition in America, who can control vast amounts of American voters through twisting the words of the Bible.
Stefen chapter 1 . 8/19/2004
This is so cool! I agree with you, as you well know! So true!
BlackRavenheart chapter 1 . 8/19/2004
Great poem! Captures just how some people feel about God... like me. Keep it up!
-Raven
Artificial Refuge chapter 1 . 8/18/2004
Love it. Am ion a rush-was supposed to leave for school 10 minutes ago near enough-but i absolutely love it. So true! Keep writing
Akaiyume chapter 1 . 8/18/2004
I totally agree with this and it's a good poem. Keep up the good work,
~Akainoyume~
SILVA-eR chapter 1 . 8/18/2004
HAhA, INTORESTAng... okay, but this was whut a christian told meh, "Why are you always blaming God for everything?" Hey, you ever watch Bruce Almighty? Oh ya, and A Christian also told meh that God's giving us a choice, you know when they got that washing over that thingy majig bouts that boat , cuz evrything was a mess, and he just washed everything away, like the water started pouring, okay, anywho ya, now hes just givin us a choice ? blahblahblah, iono, anywho.. nvm.. bout blahj, srry, i blab a lot... and ya, i gtg now.. not that im tellin u to believe in god or anythin, i mean i dont even.. hahaha, just iono.. okay sry. but nice poem
-silva
kitten9110 chapter 1 . 8/18/2004
i can say a lot but i'll only say one thing. you say you don't believe, but you are talking to God in this poem. interesting ;)
Jo The Pirate chapter 1 . 8/17/2004
Being agnostic, I can agree with everything you say here. It is a gorgeous poems, throws light on the dark side of God. Awesome.