Reviews for Santa Monica
Mayhem6779 chapter 1 . 8/24/2004
I once went to CA with the (naive) hopes of making it big (ala Morrison & The Doors...) The trip didn't live up to my expectations, yet I learned so much about the things I wish for, and how if I let myself get too caught up in the wish, I lose sight of the beauty of the experience (just being there!). This poem reminds me of my trip yet you have managed to find an appreciation for the moment, which I could not until after... How we long to re-create the innocence of youth, and the time in our lives before expectation clouded experiences before they happened!
Blinded by the Shadows chapter 1 . 8/20/2004
You made me wish I was Adam, just to spend one day with you would be worth it. Of course the refrence to Lucy did much to win me over! (**)
Nails For Your Crucifix chapter 1 . 8/20/2004
Beautiful. Just beautiful. Very sweet, but you would have been running away to Cuba if your name was Lucy. Ricky was from Cuba, not Mexico. Don't mess with my TV knowledge
MirageCrowxx chapter 1 . 8/20/2004
aw thats really powerful.
PinkLamb chapter 1 . 8/19/2004
Revenge, such a beautiful thing...
Pinky
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 8/19/2004
with his planes... plans
so we could live in the black and white world that I watched as a child... I love that line... i wish i soulc live there too sometimes
Nice stream of conciousness... especially at the end... great poem!
EyesOfTheStarryAbyss chapter 1 . 8/19/2004
Had to check some of your stuff.. Read this one first I agree, this has a good flow to it. I like the vibes. Kind of like a cool breeze on a hot day...
bach-player chapter 1 . 8/19/2004
wonderful narrative...wonderful ironic sense...loved this totally!
KerouacandGin chapter 1 . 8/19/2004
This was very nice, I like the imagery. One thing I'd like to question about, in the seventh line of the poem, is it supposed to be due, or do? Having it spelled due is confusing me very much. I could be misunderstanding, but if it's supposed to be due, then maybe you should phrase it "he was due..." Or if it was supposed to be do, it would make sense...like he was satisfactory for the job on short notice. Sorry, I'm going on too long. I was just wondering. Nice job either way.
Cloud Burst chapter 1 . 8/19/2004
wow so beautiful although i dont really get the meaning of this poem. i like ur use of words and adjectives though!
due to mend my broken heart
the silver lining in all of this
.
Manuel Fajar chapter 1 . 8/19/2004
FJ-As usual you frame things in a different and wonderful light. Somehow, it feels a little looser that your normally tightly wover and richly coloured weave. Perhaps its just me today. m
p.s minor editorial nits. he would to mend my broken heart. with his