Reviews for The Thirteenth |
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![]() ![]() That was a really cute story, good job. LOVED IT! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Now, I think Friday 13 is luckiest day haha. .woowww it was really good storyyyyyy. . |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hmm, I'm struggling to find the 'romance'; in this story as it appears to be more about rampant hormones that the sensual seduction one might normally associate from a true romance story. It reads somewhere between a sexual fantasy and borderline soft porn... For me, too much dialogue and not enough descriptive passages left me feeling as though I was overhearing an anecdotal conversation between two girl friends. The 'chatty' tone just didn't work for me. On the plus side, you do have a talent for telling a story, but it needs refining and polishing. On the whole 7/10 |
![]() ![]() amazing plz write more!:):):) |
![]() ![]() Daniel is soo awesome! really cute story :-) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Once I've read a scene I found utterly cute, I can't help but read it all over again ;) This is so beautifully written, and I completely love the characters — I love this story, especially the couple, Daniel Jay Aleron and Samantha Kylee Tyler. PERFECT 3 |
![]() ![]() Great |
![]() ![]() Wow, I loved this! Very well written! :D |
![]() ![]() I think that this one shot is well written and very detailed with the actions the charaters take. I think you should just put more detail of what the people are wearing and their eye colour etc as its a bit vague however well written and make more one shots! I enjoyed it ;) hope this gives you the help you were looking for. If not I'm sorry ahahaha xD xxx |
![]() ![]() ![]() Barry Hall Kravatz like if you switch the b and the h it's Harry (Hairy) Ball Kravataz (Crevasse, a.k.a. a crack)! That must be intentional! Am I the only one who got that? What an awesome story too! Love it! |
![]() ![]() Haha aw so cute and perfect :) Loved it! |
![]() ![]() ![]() really cute story ! |
![]() ![]() ![]() LOL - olalala ;) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Amazing. |
![]() ![]() ![]() .AWESOME! D xx |