That was a really cute story, good job. LOVED IT!

Now, I think Friday 13 is luckiest day haha. .woowww it was really good storyyyyyy. .

Hmm, I'm struggling to find the 'romance'; in this story as it appears to be more about rampant hormones that the sensual seduction one might normally associate from a true romance story. It reads somewhere between a sexual fantasy and borderline soft porn... For me, too much dialogue and not enough descriptive passages left me feeling as though I was overhearing an anecdotal conversation between two girl friends. The 'chatty' tone just didn't work for me. On the plus side, you do have a talent for telling a story, but it needs refining and polishing. On the whole 7/10

amazing plz write more!:):):)

Daniel is soo awesome! really cute story :-)

Once I've read a scene I found utterly cute, I can't help but read it all over again ;) This is so beautifully written, and I completely love the characters — I love this story, especially the couple, Daniel Jay Aleron and Samantha Kylee Tyler. PERFECT 3

Great

Wow, I loved this! Very well written! :D

I think that this one shot is well written and very detailed with the actions the charaters take. I think you should just put more detail of what the people are wearing and their eye colour etc as its a bit vague however well written and make more one shots! I enjoyed it ;) hope this gives you the help you were looking for. If not I'm sorry ahahaha xD xxx

Barry Hall Kravatz like if you switch the b and the h it's Harry (Hairy) Ball Kravataz (Crevasse, a.k.a. a crack)! That must be intentional! Am I the only one who got that?

What an awesome story too! Love it!

Haha aw so cute and perfect :) Loved it!

really cute story !

LOL - olalala ;)

Amazing.

.AWESOME! D xx