Okay so i like that the elves and dwarves hate each other so much that even one of their own cant be with them. Kinda they only seem to be doing it to elsa so its a bit weird, what about the other elf girl in the dwarf band? Also jacobs sensei is a dick, he was fighting 2 on 1! And he was doing well for that. Apparently you have to be some undefeatable badass to not suck in his eyes. Also tim is evil. Shaping the world to his image? Nigga its our planet! Roses are red violets are blue, Fuck tim, and Fuck sensei too.

Okay so another thing i noticed was that this story was likely inspired by the seventh tower. Which i like, never finished it though. Anyway this chapter was not as good as the others, i wish you described the demon more seeing as you put literally no physical description for it. Besides being small and ugly... i think. I mean i know less is more but you have to give us something. Show dont tell you should know that. i expect better from you. Too late now anyway you are gone, so i guess what we get is what we got. I know your slowly showing more and more of the plot but damn it im impatient

Okay so sonething that bothers me is that you called the gorgon girl a medusa. I get that its a. Illusion and its not real but Medusa is canonically a gorgon. Besides that, i like how jacob jumped into the whirlpool and absolutely went crazy. I guess this is a light magic system. I think that is what they call it. I like William hes a chill dude. I want to see some super villain or organized crime groups causing chaos. This is so much fun. I hope jacob dates the nicati girl.

Okay so this chapter is not that bad, i like that you added duels, and the more i read the more i realize eragon definitely inspired this story more than any thing else. Good to see a fellow paolini fan! I like the characters though jacob is a little bland though. (I Know you are likely not on here but it cant be helped.) I like the elf guy's (i forget his name) take on duels elves are more likely to be better and understand magic more ill have to jot that down because it would definitely give my elves more personality and how they differ in its use. Also can't wait to learn about that one elf guys betrothed.

Wow the more i read the more rich the fantasy becomes. I like the elves and dwarves rivalry. It reminds me of lord of the rings which i bet inspired it. What i really want to see is a dwarf and elf dating. Preferably a male dwarf amd female elf. The latter would be too weird. You put a lot of thought into this, iit makes me think you took a year to plan it which is the right way to do a story. (Im hypocrite i never do this which is why none of my stories are finished and have 2 chapters) i look forward to seeing how the rift or whatever its called happened. I love fictionpress, you always find such high quality stories on here but so little love :'( lucky for you, you've made it big and are successful as an author. Which means PUBLISH IT ON AMAZON OR SOME OTHER BOOK PUBLICATION SITE.

Okay so i really love this story, the detail is great, the descriptions are perfect, not too much not too little, the humor is kinda bland though. I like the rich fantasy world you made, its very inspiring and makes me want to right my own magic acamedy story. I like the elf girl too id fuck an elf. I have an elf fetish. You got the dwarf perfect too. Honestly i dont have a lot of bad to say about the story. Its very well nade and i think youd make a killing if you sold it on amazon if you already haven't. I advise you to do so because this di such wasted talent. Your also very creative with the magic and make everything so interesting its like a newer harry potter. I do hope that you have a villain in this story it'd make things more interesting if you dod.

Loved your story, it was a great piece of work!

Great Story!
Quick comment on the golem. I know this might have been skipped for story reasons - but traditionally, Golem's had the hebrew word emmet, or truth written on their forehead - and to kill it, all one needed to do was erase the first letter, turning the word into met, or death.

I truly loved this story. It was extremely refreshing not to have the over dramatic "save the world" plot line over toning the college humor.

I have to say, I wish I could be Jacob.

Why is this story not published? It is certainly good enough.
I rather like your style of writing. I look forward to reading the other Magicademy stories.

I just wanted to tell you that this is the most funny story I ever read!
I'm a big fan of your writing style & wish that you'll never stop writing.
Love this, really!
Good work!

You know, my boyfriend's great and I love him, but sometimes I wish everybody could have a relationship as amazing as Jacob and Dhaiiski's

I have to say this is a very original premise and ready for a good time :)

Hi there!

I think Aidis making Jacob's oatmeal quote Shakespeare is the highlight of this chapter. It's not only quirky and funny but it also shows the properties of magik. An act of showing is eons better than just getting the lecture on the properties of magik. And besides, who doesn't love oatmeal quoting classical literature?

What works really well in this chapter is how you flip back and forth between Aidis and Jacob. You start with them together and you end the chapter with them together. You have no need for transitions so you don't utilize them. It is simply a crisp and quick look at one then look at the other. It's sharp and it keeps the narrative pace up. There's nothing worse than a book that just won't get to a scene quick enough.

Overall, awesome work!

Ezekiel Finch

Hello out there!

I don't know if it's the insomnia or the fact that it's now five in the morning here in California but I'm absolutely in love with this piece. It's well written, it's funny, it has magic spelled with a "k" (and who doesn't love that?), and it's about college which I can relate to perfectly.

Your main character is well balanced, acting as both the narrative veichle and as his own character. He is observant by being too observant. He never comes off as bland or boring because of his role as the narrative veichle. He's someone we can all see in our heads without being too generic. But also, his observance becomes his personality and his own little quirks. His lack of exposure to magik in Modesto really shapes him into this naieve character who is trying to survive in a new world. It's culture shock at every level. He's a kid alone from the first time, he's a human in a brave, new, magical world, and of course he's a student trying to survive. How he copes with all of these dramatic changes is a question that can only be answered with time.

The way you handle magik at this point is perfect. We readers are able to dip our toes into the history, the way it functions, and the universe as it is today without being assaulted by a lecture on "The Magical Discourses, a Discussion, the introduction to the Prolouge." We understand the basic premise and that's good enough to keep us out of the dark. I understand how elemental magik connects to Enviromental Studies and how Sorcery connects to Enginnering. It makes sense and that's good enough for now.

I'm a comedy writer and the hardest thing for authors in my genre is to pull off the running gag. Usually the joke loses it's punch around the third time around and by that time we readers are just rolling our eyes in complete distaste. But you constantly provide new material and new insight into Jacob's orgins which makes the Modesto joke fresh every time around. It's not overused to the point of ad nauseum but it's there enough to be the running gag.

In general, I'm hooked. This is a fantastic story and I'm going all in.

Ezekiel Finch