Reviews for Angel Lover
dragonfemmefatale chapter 1 . 9/5/2004
*cries* that basically sums it up... sorry I can't be a tougher critic. I'm too mushy and emotional. One thing I did notice though was your use of simple rhymes, which normally annoys me, but this time it seemed to add a simplicity to the poem that I found really added more depth to the emotion.
my-vision chapter 1 . 8/31/2004
okay, you wanted harsh so here goes- you use a lot of excess commas, so i would remove some of those. also, the stanza separation (4 lines each) makes the poem seem much longer. try combining some stanzas together. and i think you should remove the stanzas "'I'm here now/no need to fret...'" and "The water calms/the wind dies down..." because they just add to the length and don't quite fit with the rest of the poem. one thing in general is in those two lines especially, you sacrificed some meaning for rhythm. try to let the words come out of you.
other than those things, i think the poem was really sweet! you do a great job of imagery! :-D keep me posted!
LillySananger chapter 1 . 8/31/2004
This is a total work in progress. My brother deleted my original so there are many mistakes yet to fix. I need negative reviews. I have some sections I would like to talk to people about. If your interested drop me an email!