Hola!
Glad I inspired you into finally posting up your story. Like I said before this is probably your best work yet, and my favorite. It's all descriptive to a point where it's not overly yet not too litte. It seems well formatted and very organized and I like your characters, they seem quite realistic and act like "normal" people not like in some other fics where the characters are all drop-dead gorgeous and are perfect, your characters are marred with flaws that make them who they are and likeable to other readers. Your first chapter takes off at a VERY good start, and leaves you hungry for more. So all in all it was well worth the read, awesome job! Can't wait to read more, post more soon!
bLaCkRoSe -,-