Reviews for Longing
shea's surrender chapter 1 . 9/11/2004
don't know why nobody's reviewed this one by now, i would call the experiment a success. i don't know about the structure, i think it would be better just as one stanza, the break seems a little out of place, like it's being diluted. the rhyme scheme in the first stanza is interesting, almost fun but for the words involved. this one seems a lot like your others in the message, but the style is different enough to make it seem entirely original at first glance. it's really quite good, please don't mistake me for being overly critical. if i didn't like it, i wouldn't take the time.