You're off to a good start, but it seems you have a few kinks to work out.
First, spacing out your dialogue and 'spicing it up', so to speak. Many a time, I've gotten lost trying to read what Breana and Magenta were saying to one another, and the constant repitition of the names 'Magenta' and 'the mystery person' became a bit... bluntly to say, annoying. Try using synonyms, like 'the fairy', 'the girl', et al. Try starting a new paragraph every time a new character is speaking dialogue. For example:
"Blah blah blah," said Breana.
"Blibbity blah blah," replied Magenta.
New paragraphs make for neater writing, making for less frustration by the reader; in this, the reader is more likely to... well, read.
Also, tenses. Sometimes, present tense makes a good story, but it seems past tense would make this much better. Past tense also allows so much more description, which also seems to be something lacking here. Why would Magenta randomly run up to Breana if humans were known to do nothing but ill will against faeries? Where is Magenta? What does she, what does Breana look like? ... et al.
You're off to a fine start, though. :) Read/review my single fic if you have the time? Thanks in advance.