*sits at computer desk, twidling thumbs* I figured since you haven't updated in a while (within good reason) I would read some of your other works! Plus, it's one more review for your stats, isn't it?

Well, let's see... Hm, only a few notes:

- I think the prose a little to wordy and sometimes you repeat yourself (ie: "It was a clever deception, a devious lie, and as far as she knew, it was working."). Probably by cutting out the things that don't add much to the description would make the text easier to follow and pay attention to.

- Along with descriptions are the sentences. They were at times a little too long (for my taste at least). Single sentences, short ones, are not so bad!

- The ending I think was a nice touch. I love stories where the hero doesn't win!

The story as a whole was wonderful (as usual with your stories), despite some of the superflous prose. I hope this and your other stories continue. Keep on writing! ( :: )

I haven't finished all of this chapter yet (i shall return to it soon I hope)

Interesting story line so far. I like how you started with the end so to speak. however was it just a dream? if so why does the next section not reinforce that? other than that it is intruiging so far, I haven't really got much else to say because I read so little. keep it up.

A very interesting story. The world you created is complex and I love your references to Norse mythology (Ragnarok and Midgard), which gives it an intriguing taste. A few sentences were wordy, but hardly any. I especially like how you had the protagonist lose instead of winning. Good job writing this.

Wow, that was amazing! I don't know what to say, I've never read anything like that before, though, then again, I haven't been able to read a lot lately since of school, and when I'm not at school, it's family (but I love my family )

As far as I know, there are no gramatical errors, and I hope I'll have more time soon to keep reading your stories. Anyone who reads this can tell you know what you're doing, and you've planned it really well. (and if you don't mind me asking, how do you plan long stories? 'cause they never taught me at school, and no one at home can help me with that...)

The first of your stuff I have read but I totally loved it! I don't have enough time on my hands to read you 12 chapter super popular story, but I would love to see more of your original stuff! It is very good!

Happy writing, Diamond!

-Shadow

I found it a bit too wordy, and thus it was a little difficult to follow what was happening. I hate to admit that I lost interest halfway through, but I still read to the end, and did like the conclusion.

I liked that the hero did not win. Too often, I think, writers believe that if it's not a happy ending, people will not like it. To me, the more important matter is the story upon the whole; how well it is written, and how interesting the plot is.

I also appreciated the absence of grammatical and spelling errors. My greatest pet peeve is reading a story riddled with errors because the author was too eager to post it and neglected to correct anything. I did find one typo- "consuming everything that were foolish " *was* foolish )

I'm off to read more of your works D

Maranwe Telrunya

you have such a talent for words. once again, the last lines where very effective and very chilling. I like how the main character doesn't win in the end. it puts quite an interesting look on the story.

Not many writers are brave enough to finish a story where the protagonist fails. I really enjoyed the ending as it was very chilling.

I liked how the story had lots of names and little details like how only Testament Angels could enter the Covenant Chamber. Little things like that make a story complicated and fun. That's what I like.

I think the passage of time was good. Especially from the last battle and the ending. The battle was irrelevant. The outcome was the most important part. I think you cut out the non-important parts well, especially since this was a one-shot story. It is always best to focus on the most important parts.

Well done.