Brillant beginning, my troublesome Highland friend. I can imagine the reactions that Pax had, hanging nekked, hungover and partially drugged. Too funny.

"This mean have their own lives and the lives of those they love to fight for. "

Should this be "These men"?

I can actually see the reason why Marek is disliked by his brother, the feeling of being unable to compare with the "oh so noble" knightly brother. While I don't have a brother, I have be given some of the same from my sister because I hold to the old code. Go figure.

Hm... Marion understands Don a bit, doe she? It's understandable taht she's afraid to try and get close too him, all these considered. I'm just surprised she didn't slug him in return, knowing her she'd dislodge his head from his shoulders in the process.

This is very well written and I enjoyed reading the first chapter very much. I see that you have several chapters up, and I do hope they come off as well. Your setting reminds me of imperial England, and I am entertained to say the least, and I like when Don thought his father was talking about Anya would be the one married off. I also like the way Don't mother did the bit about she's a woman. That was very entertaining!

Hm.. the plot thickens, treaties, conspiracies, pistols, and Marlo... well, I won't spoil that part. Good work Mellon nin. You are a better bard than I.

Woohoo! Da' Fankie has updated! I can't contain my excitement!

Ahem, sorry, just so excited. Hm... Doth my eyes deceive me or has Don grown a back bone? This is a new an intriquing development, not to mention that even though Marion is quite angry at him still. She will probably forgive him, but before that happens I'd recommend he stay out of knife throwing distance.

Hello again! (I'd agree about the writing Mish, having not written in months im rusty, but all will be sorted in the big edit.) Sean, you're quite right about Don. His lashing out is actually a part of an anger problem I want to work into the story to make the character less 2D, it will be referenced beforehand- again, the edit! Thanks for reading and stuff guys, any alternative title ideas while you're at it? lol. Ta again for all the support.

Glad to see more writing appearing at last! Content is excellent but i think a few bits aren't as well written as the previous stuff. Do absolutely love how the story is going though.

Yay! Frankie-lady is back! Frankie-lady is back! Sorry, couldn't contain my enthusiasm.

A very melancoly chapter, but considering what has happened it is understandable. While I can understand Don being hurt by what Marlo did, feeling betrayed because of his father, and maybe even a little angry at Marion, I can't agree with him hitting her out of spite. She did make several good points and he should have really listened to her, but I think at that point he didn't want the truth, he wanted to go back to the 'everything is perfect' reality.

Honestly, I believe that once those two find a common ground they might become very good partners. However if they keep butting heads like this, they will most certainly kill each other before the week is out.

I like it a lot (especially the laxitives). very good plotline. although it is a lot of important info to take in in one go...and its just a little bit bond-villain-ish. But on the whole, very excellent. Still got that sarcasm incarnate charm

I'm going to be away on holiday soon, and it's my job to write chapter 16 currently so I apologise if it takes some time, do keep checking tho as it will eventually arrive. Thanks again for the reviews everyone. Sean, I can only say it's good to hear an opinion of Marlo that isn't fond and forgiving. Her actions shcoked us as well, we may have created her but don't control her!

I always knew that Marlo was a troublesome one, greedy as well, but I never imagined she'd betray her own sister. No matter how noble she thinks her causes is, to let the spell continue will bring force an Evil I dare not imagine. I hope that she does set things right eventually, if not it may be the end of Marion.

*cough*...good...

heh heh heh...very nice. Marlo and cars is god

Brava you two Trouble makers, :-)

So, a crown of some sorts, I wonder how it will stop the coming darkness. As for the Model T, I can only imagine how Don will have it locked up to keep Marlo from causing more problems.

I did get a good laugh from the comment by Don's mom about the Black and Red dress, not to mention one helluva mental image.

Keep up the good work you two trouble makers.

'Mellon nin' is actually Tolkien Elvish, It means 'My friend'. It can be heard in The Two Towers, Aragorn says it to Brego. Basically, he is thanking him for saving his life.

As for why I use it, well, it was either that or some obscure latine phrase like 'Fides est Virtus', but Mellon nin seem more heart felt.

BTW, 'Fides est Virtus' means 'Honor and Valor'

I second Fran in thank yous. On the reviewing front I was wondering if anyone reading the story from an outsiders point of view agrees with what I think, which is that the general quality of writing in just about every respect (with the possible exception of an increase in silliness but what can we say...) has improved as we've gone, and that for instance chapters twelve and thirteen are quite a bit better than one and two? Or is this just an author over-analysing her own work?Btw, Sean, what does Mellon Nin mean? I've kinda gathered it's something nice but can get no further than that... I have Marions curiousity and convenient stupidty, remember...