Very intriguing. Please update soon!

Sweets, the plot line is okay, and the intro is some what interusting, but WHY oh WHY don't you edit? I didn't even get through 1/4 of the first chapter and I'm already thinking the thing sucks! If I keep reading, it'll only be because of the story line. While that gives you points in that department, wouldn't you want your readers to enjoy the ride as well? C. , Bleeding Air, and Queen Anabella are all really great authors. Check them out and then read your own story again. You'll get what I'm talking about.

I just saw this story when I was browsing through new stories. It intrigued me so much I had to read it. I loved how you, the author, used the rights words to make the reader feel a need to read the next chapter. Good job! There was also just a couple mistakes here and there but other then that I found this story was done very well. I personally liked how you made the reader know how Trinh was feeling and you keep wondering what will happen next. Please update ASAP! :) Good luck!

Wow, long time since the last update.

But do you want to know something awesome? I remembered exactly what had happened in the last chapter. Yay me. It means that I am hooked on your story. I like it.

I am now at university studying psychology. Omg, it's so cool. I love it. I want to do it for the rest of my life.

Yes, anyway. I have to go to a lecture now. Bye!

~Ellabella

anthony...that bastard. i'd kill him. lol. ha! drinking that blood in the last chapter made her a vampire right? i'd slap anthony and then skin ambrose. the lying sack of sh-

so that was an unusually quick update for you. guess what? i graduated from high school the other day. i'm so excited. omg, i'm a year 12 graduate. hahaha! i (hopefully) go to university next year...wow. lol, so how have you been? i'm great.

feranome? did you mean pheromone? chemicals secreted by animals to attract the opposite sex or what? i'm not getting that. i hope to see more chapters from you though, your update speed is getting really goo. i'd advise revising your first few chapters to draw people in. although if you wanted to go with the hazy theme in your story i would have done it through first person.

you can do trinh’s thoughts with italics and convey her feeling the pain and making her confusion clearer that way. i just thought you weren't going well with conveying your ideas. but if confusion is the theme then you're going well. however, while the story is in the early stages, I advise revising the first few chapters and putting more detail, to draw people in. i also advise trying out writing in first person. the audience can relate better to the confusion if it's first person and it can be a bit more fun to write... Cya next chapter!

ellabella

ha! i'm still around. and great chapter btw, i really liked it. i'm thinking 'underworld' meets your own unique style. it's wonderful.

i find it quiet amazing that ambrose has the patience to teach her everything she needs to know about her new world. the chapter was nice and long and gave us a few new characters to think about. i wouldn't mind seeing more of ambrose trying to teach her how to get her prey and drain it etc.

i see that ambrose is highly in tune with what she feels, i saw this when she finished drinking the blood and was rejuvenated. your composing this story okay but i still feel that the plot is hazy. too hazy. i'm sure it will come together with more time, if it doesn't then you can always fix it up later. any who, i have to go. i'll next time you update (which will be in a blue moon suppose?)

ellabella

Hmm.. this is very good considering the fact that you're French...and English is most likely not your first language...

Only problem is, there are certain places where this story is choppy. And other places where a word is missing or a word is misspelled. But all-in-all this story is very good! I'm looking forward to reading more...

P.S. You mentioned in your profile that you like vampire roamances, I have three. So feel free to go and take a look at them.

"Now, now, Trinh. You will eventually be screaming my name, but now is not the time"- that was way sexy. and about the reviewers or lack there of. don't worry about that. people read who refuse to review because they want to give an over all review. i noticed that people often have to have a lot of chapters before poeple start taking notice. i my self pay more attention to stories that have more then a few chapters in it because i expect the characters to be more developed. i've seen people who are at the same level in writing as you get an amazing amount of fans due to the simple fact that they have remained constant in their updating. if you are finding it hard to update then take your story down and try to finish it before you post it back up. and when you post it, post it at a pace of a chapter once a week or something like that. that way you get to change the story before it hits the shelf and to do all the editing you want. if you post it out in one big clump then it will drown in the archives on FP. i've been thinking that, that is what i need to do so i've been writing a story that i haven't posted on FP yet and won't until i finish it. i am so bad (SO bad, i don't know why i am even trying to give advice on this when i suck at it) for updating that i decided i may as well do it at my pace rather then being pushed to supply something by fans. i really do hope you continue writing and i'd love to see this story finished. at least you update. i know i don't! cya then :D

ellabella

oh yeah, i'm definitly hooked again. you're chapters are heaps longer and 'fleshed' out. good job. not much i can say cos you're going great...hehe, i cleaned out my fav stories recently, including yours i think, but your back on that list for sure! keep up the good work. can't wait for you're next chapter.

ellabella

this was heaps better cos it really got into her character and it gives me an idea of the vampires and how they work. its cool that she has changed physically. i really like it. and i totally get the whole plot dilema cos i have two, and one is established yet it is a lil screwed cos i can't carry it out. that chapter was so good. im a little unsure of whether shes a vampire or not cos i cant remember if he said he was going to keep feeding on her regularly (or was he annoyed cos she changed cos she took enough blood or what?). the way you set the introduction would imply that she gets pieces of her memory back at seperate times, which would be very confusing for her but also leaves the audience in the dark (when in her pov) which is good cos they want more and more and then they're hooked. im hooked. i liked this chapter soo much, not because of the development in story but because you held onto her thoughts long enough for me to connect. i wonder if she'd have an intense hatred for ambrose? cos he did kill her and if she did then her first memories would be like emotions. o i wonder how you'll do the memories? will it be black outs that play a scene or will she get glamours of fierce emotion and collages of moments? i wonder...m. anywhos. i liked that you were able to take a short meeting and her awareness and make it this long. kudos for SweetxxDreams!~x~Ellabella~x~

does this make her a vamp if she drinks? or did he not take enough? not too sure, i think it just means that they'd be connected. The moment she becomes a vamp and gets her memories back is the moment the story starts its plot. this is a wonderful prelude and, despite your chapters being short, you are an excellent writter. alot of stuff you had here could have easily been stretched out to make longer chapters but because they're short they also worked well for a suddenness quality. i suggest that you decide what you want to happen in your next chapter then decide who would have the more interesting view and stay with their pov, cos it seems like once it gets interesting you change pov's, loosing those interesting thoughts! in turn this doesn't allow you to develop it more and the audience feels left out, as though they're scratching at the surface of a labyrinth. i loved, absolutly loved it with glee, the part where he says- "They are closed. We arent that messy.". he's too gorgeous. hehehe. *cough* anyways, i love this story line, but you need to stay with one pov for longer cos its killing me. ack! but loving the story all the same. but i gotta say is she gullable or what? p.s. its fine to change pov's but do it after you've written enough on the previous pov. the first pov was perfect for its context cos we dont know the pov as one of the main characters. perfection to the T. (no idea what that means other then 'good job'). but when it comes to trinh or ambrose, hold onto those thoughts girl! another tip is just write. dont concern your self with grammer or any or that useless crap and just write till its coming out of your ears. THEN go back a reread and check everything and put it in place. i dont know if you do this but some people try to do this in one go (writing a perfect copy) and it takes them ages and they just get short chapters...if your ones of those then stop and just do what you love to do and write! (you have it...thats why my review is so damn long because i believe in you- go with it)

Cool story! Vampires are kinda hot:)Waiting for chapter 3!
~Lara

Confusing, but I'm pretty sure that's how it is since it's just the beginning right? But hey, good job on this chapter, a few errors, but hey, we all have them. _
Hopefully you'll write the next chapter... I would love to see how it all turns out in the end. _

Hey, just checking this story out, and it sounds really interesting so far...really you should continue on writing, I'm sure it will get a lot better later on... after all, I am very intrigued (I hope that's how you spell it) by the plot...
Well, no onto the chapters!
Yisa

so i get that Trinity is this good vamp re-incarnated but im still a little lost on how she meets and greets this bad vamp dude without him knowing it. does she fall in with a group of vamps or is he dead too and also re-incarnated. i guess we'll find out later. i probably would have done this chapter as normal as possible (like you've done) so that i could compare the two 'worlds'. good stuff. a little tip with extending you're chapter's you might like to try getting into the character's POV. my last chapter came really easy because i sort of pictured it happening, i knew what i wanted and what could make it longer and i also found points for later chapters that i could write about. i hope it helps
ellabella