Reviews for The Battle
amarelle chapter 1 . 2/7/2005
Okay, I came back to see if you updated, (you hadn't) when I noticed in the first chapter you said you were Jennifer Summers, then in the second said you were Kara Smith...Did I mis something?
arcanum-zw chapter 2 . 11/3/2004
My gosh. Your bitchiness and sluttiness have actually found their ways into your characters. It's... astounding.
However, it is exactly these two (un)desirable traits that make your characters come alive, adding an extra dimension of realism to an otherwise plain old catfight. Very refreshing.
Ohmm chapter 2 . 11/2/2004
Aha! You DO have the gift of writing in, as Melly puts it, mean-girls style. Lurvely. There's nothing quite like a good b*tchfit.
Great vocabulary too x).
Can't wait for chapter 3 ).
amarelle chapter 2 . 11/1/2004
Hm...Not bad at all! I love your character (finally someone with good vocabulary!) The small patronizing vs. alliterative was definately a nice touch. I am really enjoying this, please add a new chapter soon!
wcaexqdz chapter 2 . 10/31/2004
Somehow it seems that this character is at war with all the others. Does it have an ally? In this situation maybe it's better to have an equal amount of power on both sides. Then again, maybe this single character will win all the others. This brings you to the question, how can one consider it a win?
wcaexqdz chapter 1 . 10/25/2004
From your summary, I assume you are planning to include a Chapter 2? Or are you planning to leave the story like that?
Characters are not included for no reason, which is to say that your plot is well focused. But the characters were not very well developed, perhaps partly due to the fact that you may be planning another Chapter? Do hurry, it's almost a month.
Sentrovasi chapter 1 . 10/13/2004
So interesting! I'm pretty sure you're not female, unless this isn't *your* account after all, but... You sure can make it sound realistic! At least... I think it's realistic... Don't you? Don't you? *Looks around* Anyways, I can almost believe that you have been involved in this... Although that's not saying much when I also believe that Kristy looks like a Venus Flytrap... Nice work!
Gravitude chapter 1 . 10/10/2004
I like the story and all,
but how can this be humor?
Please update. _
amazing fiction058 chapter 1 . 9/24/2004
cool story... up date soon
negligible fictional force chapter 1 . 9/23/2004
this is very mean girls.
but there is a spark of originality,
i must say.
you write above average,
and i liked the plant analogy.
oh, friend of arcanum's here.
anyway. you understand girl world very well,
and know the well, b*tchy aspects of it,
and the politics
and social ladder.
it's a great analysis of
a high school.
all in all.
this is a well-written piece,
and there's a lot to expand on.
nice work.
arcanum-zw chapter 1 . 9/23/2004
Excellent first chapter. Very engaging narration from a realistic persona. Hope to see more of this. Hopefully it'll be a good alternative for the gory bloodshed of HoA. _