|Reviews for Reaching The Sky|
| Kinna chapter 1 . 11/28/2005
This was nice, short, and gave me an uplifting feeling.
I do agree with some of your other reviews that talk about the grammar though.
For example the first two lines...
" Though mountains are high,Yet some dares to climb it,"
Though is already doing the job of the word yet, and to put the two together doesn't really sound right. If you only use one of those words, it would make a lot more sense. Also dares would sound better as dare.
Other than that this was a wonderful poem. The way you put your lines into pairs was more effective than if they were all together, and made a nice clean break between the imagery of the different land types.
| Astartes Rapture chapter 1 . 11/20/2005
Aww, I love inspirational poetry - gives one that warm fuzzy feeling, which I needed is a simple poem, but all the same, it bares a sweet message to all who read for criticism . . . how about questions/suggestions?Some parts did not seem to flow as well as they potentially could . . . and I think it was the absence of grammar. Like:
"Though the desert are barren,Yet some dares to cross it"
In MY mind, it flows better:"Though the desert IS barren, OR “Though the desertS are barren,Yet some DARE to cross it"
I think that the DARES should be Dare just for grammatical usage - I'm a stickler for this stuff. But that is only my opinion - for all I know it is intentional and I am simply being silly.
Great poem! Lovely message and imagery! I will have to check out more of your poetry when I have more time on my hands!
Thanks for your wonderful review - I hope to receive more critiques/responses for my other works from you!
(Yes, almost all of my reviews will be long - hence why I need LOTS of time on my hands.)
| Katy Llewellyn chapter 1 . 9/12/2005
thanks for the review. i like this. yeah, the one poem of mine is very graphic...it created a huge image as i wrote it.
| chris chapter 1 . 5/26/2005
uhmm.. very creative but to me u can improve if u dnt use 'SOME' but mayb i might b wrong cos its a poem and most of the times people dnt follow the correct rules of english.. how about writing a bit more longer, it wud b more feeling when we read it.. so far so good and keep it up
| PaulAsaran chapter 1 . 5/14/2005
Very short and to the point; although the message is great short poems just don't do much for me. Sorry, man. On the positive side I love the sheer simplicity of it, and more so how it hammers the meaning out.
| Needa S chapter 1 . 4/28/2005
Beautiful work! I sent ya an invite to a new site. It's a great place to meet authors from here. I hope ya check us out sometime and by all means keep writing you are very talented.
| sam the bear chapter 1 . 4/20/2005
It's really good! i wish you good luck on your book you wish to publish - or if you have i hope it's done well!
| Forsakn chapter 1 . 4/16/2005
I like this piece. Although.. I don't know, 'dares to climb it', 'dares to cross it' just don't sound right. o_O Poetic license, I s'ppose, but those bits sort of destroyed the feel for me. And in answer to your question in the review (and you have my undying gratitude for it), I play the drums.
| white-clouds chapter 1 . 4/15/2005
Short and great! Loved it!
| Eagle Seance chapter 1 . 4/6/2005
i especially liked the desert one. great work!
| Tori Keedah chapter 1 . 3/29/2005
Very true yet very impowering. I really enjoy your work Kenishiro (even if I don't reveiw it often..) and it's a shame you haven't updated in a while (then again, neither have I)
| Manuel Fajar chapter 1 . 3/25/2005
very inspirational. it's true,—that though not everything is physically possible, so much is if mind is willing to dare. m
| angelicGrace chapter 1 . 12/1/2004
Great work luv. I love the fighting spirit this peice has.
| Anomander chapter 1 . 10/4/2004
This one has the deep meaning, also. You're good at deep meaning poetry, aren't you? It has the strong advice for anyone who dares to breach the impossible that it is possible to breach it.
| Zookey De' Armand chapter 1 . 10/3/2004
Your vision as a poet is clearly shown here. It is indeed an inspiration.
Thank you very much, Kenishiro. )