Reviews for Thirteen
WinterxXxKiss chapter 3 . 3/25/2009
Wow. Youve piqued my intrest. Hope to read more soon!
xoxoSweetFallenAngelxoxo chapter 3 . 1/15/2009
I liked it. I cant wait for the rest
lost-for-words98 chapter 3 . 8/20/2008
This is really good. I can't wait for the next chapter.
Momiji K. Sohma chapter 3 . 6/12/2008
T_T WRITE MORE! Idemandit. D:
Zakk Mortified chapter 3 . 3/21/2007
coolie coolie update soon XD
E i l i t h chapter 3 . 11/27/2004
holy fuck i just about wetted my pants right when i read the last part with the guy one of my cats jumped on my lap and scared the shit out of me! my god lol write more totally
Angelfromwithin chapter 3 . 10/20/2004
Of course, it was another awsome chapter! I can't wait until you put up the next one! Why do cell phones always let you down? What good are they? Lol! Keep it up, and I'll be wait for the next chapter!
Hugs and Butterfly Kisses,
AFW
Angelfromwithin chapter 2 . 10/20/2004
Awsome! Loved it! Can't wait to read chapter 2! NO! Not the elevator! It's always the elevator! LOL!
Hugs and Butterfly Kisses,
AFW
Angelfromwithin chapter 1 . 10/20/2004
Awsome! Awsome! Awsome! Can't wait to read the first chapter! And you shouldn't freak yourself out about things like this! Because it was still awsome!
Hugs and Butterfly Kisses,
AFW
Cymoril Avalon chapter 2 . 10/14/2004
Okay, Sam opens her locker JUST so everything could fall out? Why was she opening it in the first place, plot device? XD
"Alright" isn't a word. It's "all right". _ Sorry, peeve of mine.
Wow...electricity in an abandoned building. O_o Crepy. Things working that shouldn't. Definitely something nasty at work here.
I'm definitely curious as to where this is going. Update soon!
Cymoril Avalon chapter 1 . 10/14/2004
This story has a lot of potential, especially if you go back and fix your grammatical errors (for example, your second sentence is a terrible run-on). A beat reader would be able to help you immensely.
"Most took it to be the work of Satan..." So this is a town full of Christians? Could just be the work of demons you know, and then you wouldn't be treading over any religious ground.
But damn...I'd think if so many murders/insanity cases were linked to that place, the police would have been involved. Then again...
This sounds like "Thirteenth Floor", or a similar title, which was an absolutely wretched movie.
You writing has a Lovecraftian feel to it. Onto Chappie 2!
Bringer of Nightmares chapter 2 . 10/10/2004
I just read your story and I really like it. It could turn out to be a really good horror story. I like the characters Sam, Jason, and Wesley, but I hate that Aaron guy. He needs to DIE! MWAHAHAHA! I'm sorry you haven't got any reviews. It's not because no one is reading it, but the idiots just aren't reviewing. It's sad. That's proof of the story I have that has only 1 review.
superflygirl4lyfe chapter 2 . 10/7/2004
i think that was really cool. keep writing, i anticipate more good work on this story!
-superflygirl4lyfe
BadKiwi chapter 2 . 10/5/2004
They HAD to take the elevator... 'cause... um... they're really lazy? x_x Yeah, you have a point with that, but, as you said, there wouldn't be much of a plot if they weren't trapped. Also, the "he" was Wesely. I had his name in place of that originally, but it was screaming "pronouns-much?" at me so I changed it.
Thanks for the reviews! You get a cookie.
Adiah chapter 2 . 10/4/2004
I'm sorry, I swear I read your prologue!
For some reason, the thing would not let me review. I hit the review button about a bajillion times and it kept coming up with this error screen.
Anyway, enough excuses.
I only have one slight problem with this chapter, and it's a purely logistical one:
Why would anybody in their right minds take the elevator?
I guess if they didn't there wouldn't be much of a story, but there are other ways to get them trapped, like say, they chicken out immediately and try to go back outside, only to find that the door won't open.
Okay, horrible example and totally overdone cliche, but it was just an example. Anyway, this is your story so you really don't have to listen to any suggestions I make.
Oh, one other thing: Near the end, when you say, "He knelt next to Sam and held her," which "he" were you referring to? Sorry, this was a little unclear.
Other than that, it looks good. Keep going, I really did read the prologue, honest!
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