Reviews for Behind the cloudy veil
Getuie chapter 2 . 4/25/2012
Darkness is more descriptive... Twilight is more "flashy" :-P Tough choice.

The poem is really awesome... Touching and sad. The split in the poem really helps to show the conflict and especially that last line in the first stanza showing the shift.

It's an open poem with a question that has filled my own heart so often. It's a constant journey to get back there, but possible (and no, I'm not usually an optimistic one... I've really seen this happen). It just starts with one small step in faith.
poetic abortion chapter 2 . 4/25/2012
3/... I think "Twilight" would have made a better touch. ) Its still good thugh, I really like it actually. - Reminded me of "Evnescence", I really enjoy the band. - Beautiful poem, flowed well and was just well done. - )

!* Noelle *!
myno chapter 2 . 4/25/2012
i like twilight better... Again, its a bit Evanescent, but I love that band, so thats all good with me. :P
catseyeview chapter 2 . 4/25/2012
beautiful, I like the idea of "twilight"
on-a-mission451014 chapter 2 . 4/25/2012
I like the word darkness in the last line the best. I also like the contrast in the two stanzas, the first is talking about the child and her perfect faith and then the next is about you wanting that faith but not being able to find it. You can still have the faith of a child though.
Ivriniel chapter 2 . 4/25/2012
Oh, how cute! I think darkness sounds better than twilight... I don't know why but to me twilight still sounds so friendly and comforting. Nice poem, the second part really sounds a bit like Fields of innocence.
c0nquestri0n chapter 2 . 4/25/2012
Great poetry here.. how you compared a child's faith with the faith of an older person... I think twilight would be better.
Anastasia Who chapter 2 . 4/25/2012
I thought this poem was really good. I love the messge behind it. I think twillight at the end works a little better than darknes cause I think it adds a little bit, but darkness can work just as well. You're the author so it's really up to you. Anyway great poem. I liked it alot.
Haunted-dreams05 chapter 3 . 4/25/2012
This is really good. I like it a lot and I like the way it flows. Very nicely writen.
Manuel Fajar chapter 3 . 4/25/2012
Another beautiful facet you show brightly with another face. Wonderful idea, wish I was brave enough to try some more names.

Nature tricks mothers,

Compels them to seek others,—

Else species smothers.

Yet, thinking like a brother,

Life alone should not bother. —m—
myno chapter 3 . 4/25/2012
yes, i definately see the evanescence influence. Excellent piece, I'd love to hear it sung.
Ivriniel chapter 3 . 4/25/2012
Beautiful, I often think something like that as well. I also like the images you used.
anastasiawho chapter 3 . 4/25/2012
I liked this. I thought it was very good. I like the depth of it and the sorrow that is used. Great work.
La Editor chapter 3 . 4/25/2012
col... so i guess you made this today! lolz... you should put the notes to it... like A, B, F, G... just a thought! cha! Wishes
poetic abortion chapter 3 . 4/25/2012
_ Oh my. w I'm left speech less.

Noelle
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