Reviews for Circles of Arven
Frayling0 chapter 16 . 6/25/2009
Really clever here, how you fitted explanation into a simple conversation, nice work. I can't wait till Azuren's training begins, I'm looking forward to it! Nice work ~ Luke
N.E. Olson chapter 2 . 6/24/2009
Very interesting. I like that Fenris became a wolf. It's a little difficult to keep track of all the races (I had to go back to the intro to remember what a Hardis was), but it is convenient that all of that information was presented in one area so it is fairly easy to find if needed.
N.E. Olson chapter 1 . 6/24/2009
This was a great introduction and history lesson for your world. I especially liked the part about the dragons as well as the way you ended this introduction. It gave me shivers.
Said Author chapter 2 . 6/23/2009
I was really confused so I had to read this twice, hehe. So is Argath the big bad? And I'm interested in why Thelanor killed the woman he loved, what was his aim... And fenris became a wolf so Thelanor would live? Interesting, and I love how the dialogue trails off when Fenris is saying some sort of goodbye to Thelanor... I just thought it was bittersweet. :P

(I'm one of the stupid people: I didn't read all of your profile so I didn't see where you asked for no grammar con crit. I tend to not read long bad...sorry.)
Said Author chapter 1 . 6/23/2009
Wow, wonderful prologue! you set the story up pretty well. Yeah, it did feel like LOTR but this sounds like definitely your own thing! (It also reminds me of the Odyssey for some strange reason. o_o)

I love the ending lines, BTW. ("howl of a new wolf") I'll read more sometime today or tomorrow! :}

P.S. From your PM: I guess that makes sense about your English, and about the exclamation marks... I've only read one obscure manga so I don't know how they work, hehe. (For your return, you think you could try Dropping Stars?)

I'll try to ease up on the con crit in my next reviews (I didn't give any here! huzzah)! xP
Frayling0 chapter 15 . 6/23/2009
I like the idea of this interlude, helps with the understanding, and gives more depth to the mythology of the story. Good work ~ Luke
Frayling0 chapter 14 . 6/22/2009
A nice transitional chapter, and I liked the musing at the start. Later on, there's probably a bit too much dialogue - this isn't a play it's fiction - so you need to intersperse descriptions more. How are the characters saying the words? How are they feeling? What are they doing with their body/head/eyes - that sort of thing. Good chapter nevertheless. ~ Luke
Frayling0 chapter 13 . 6/22/2009
Ilgen! Great chapter, fast paced, action packed, dramatic, what more can I say! Ranor truly is an evil genius haha. Once again only sorrow lies in Azuren's path. Good work ~ Luke
Chancee chapter 6 . 6/20/2009
Okay this was so predictable I wanted to find you and shake you!

Ranga you normally set us up better. Or are you just trying to get pass the preliminary stuff? Okay this was still well done, but off the bat Ranor is annoying as a character. I truly hate him, but he is like the ultimate villain now. And to tell Azuren all of what happened himself, I felt you could have told it better from a different person or something. You know have him walk up discussing how he killed everyone and then give Azuren the smug look. Okay you're the author but that's just how I felt. You know I get emotional about what I read. **Chuckles**

Now as for the burning of the baby, you had better make a good reason why this whole stupid village shouldn't be burned to the ground by the lightening gods since they are really making me angry too. I mean those people are sadist! BUMPKINS? YOU used the word BUMPKINS! I had to LOL'd on that one. It's just not something you read in the vernacular of the era you know. You had some typos and stuff but nothing major since I am concentrating on the story itself. You have my attention.

Okay so he's now going to the elves hunh? Well I have to go and eat but I hope you don't tick me off with another group of idiots with crazy religious views.

Of course I hope you do since I love a story that can make me swear at the laptop and root loudly for the heroes and stuff.

On to eat be back for more later.
Chancee chapter 5 . 6/20/2009
SLOW DOWN! Okay I know you are going for the quick adventure but this seemed like you were blowing through this. Azuren deserves more of your attention than this.

I could see where you were going with him being discovered as the reason Julia was sneaking out but the whole getting caught and being beaten and all of that seemed to play to fast for me. Don't get me wrong it was exciting and well done, just the pace hit hyper speed.

Then with the bandits coming out of nowhere just I don't know you could have done a bit better with the lead in to them. It felt like you wanted to just get it over with and get to the good part, but the way you write is in a pace that takes time. Your Prologue and first chapters are evidence of that, so watch out there.

His transformation was really cool and I like the whole killing the bandits part...Go get'em boy! But there again the killing of Julia her quick last words was sort of lost in your pace. I have no idea how to tell you to even fix that, maybe someone else can tell you but it just felt rushed.

Now your details are still excellent that makes me feel like I was in the midst of his rage and fury so awesomeness there and I really like this so I will be moving on.

Guess you bugged me since you knew I am a quick reader and I would spit out a couple of reviews at once hunh? Sneaky fellow.

On to the next.

Chancee chapter 4 . 6/20/2009
I get the upsetting tone of you know what manga series, but I'll PM you that later. I like this so far and the short and sweet chapters really work for me. I guess that is why you have so many reviews by now. Good thinking. Now the beginning did not really sit right for me. It seemed sort of forced but I am going to read it again.

I like how you presented Ranor the a**hole and his goons, and the fact he poisoned his family is grounds for him to definitely grow strong and exact his revenge one day. I like the way you set him up in the village, though not original, I know you could have come up with something better than the henchman just spreading the lie, but it works.

I feel sorry for poor Azuren and I'm glad you gave him somebody that he could call friend for the moment.

Good stuff as always but, you need to also read Aspiemor's tale. He's really a good fantasy writer too.

Chancee chapter 3 . 6/20/2009
This was interesting. I could not remember where I left off so since it allowed me to send a review I'll start here.

Okay so we have an orphan with creepy eyes hunh? Okay I can get with that. I had to re-read the beginning again since it has been like forever and I was glad to see these chapters are short.

The description and all is good like always you have no issue with that and I like the names actually. So I look forward to seeing what you do with this. Awesome as always my friend and I have to put you on a 2 to 3 chapter daily read. You can tell I've been busy at the bar.

Oh yeah and the villagers already not liking him tells me you have some drama stirring.

Lyn-san chapter 27 . 6/19/2009
...Your character Eldan... in a way, he reminds me of Zelos, from Tales of Symphonia. I like him. This chapter allowed me to get to know the characters a little better. I can't help but wonder what's going to happen next tho. Guess I'll just have to read more to find out! Until the next chapter.

Lyn-san chapter 26 . 6/19/2009
...You changed your pen name... So that explains why I didn't realize who it was. Hmm. Well, I'm back, albeit sick as a dog but meh, that's beside the point. This chapter was more laid back than the previous one, and you made me question the true depth of Eldan's character. Hmm... I'll continue reading and see what happens. Renkai is also another character I'll be looking out for. I do apologize for taking so long to review though... but I look forward to reading more of your story!


Frayling0 chapter 12 . 6/19/2009
Another good chapter, a tad short for my liking, but I like how you frequently show us the villagers opinions, I feel so sorry for Azuren! And what an ending, once again he's in trouble... *Sigh* will he ever have a nice life...? Can't wait to read more! ~ Luke
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