Reviews for Circles of Arven
Frayling0 chapter 11 . 6/19/2009
Not much to say; short and sweet. The mysterious people at the end... hmm... it seems Azuren knows little of the true destiny that awaits him. Once again I'm loving the dynamics between Fenris and Azuren, like in the opening paragraph. There's something so brotherly about them... Anyway, good work as always! ~ Luke
Frayling0 chapter 10 . 6/19/2009
Great chapter, although not action packed, I love the dynamics between Fenris and Azuren here. The idea of a second coming... sort of like Jesus, or the Dragon in wheel of time, is awesome. I love the idea of recincarnation. Your displays of emotion are well written, and you have a good interpsersing of thoughts and description in between dialogue. All in all, great work! ~ Luke
Frayling0 chapter 9 . 6/18/2009
Nice chapter! Suitably epic in tone, and I really like the whole 'sword in the stone' style thing. I like the descriptions of the wolf, and how you juxtapositioned the peoples fears of Azuren with his ordeal. Great work. Enjoying CoA immensely! ~ Luke
The Tragedian chapter 1 . 6/17/2009
That was intense! It wasn't rushed and everything flowed. I'm not used to reading this type of genre, but this was good!

Especially love the last line!
Frayling0 chapter 8 . 6/16/2009
This chapter is much better than the last - lengthier, and paragraphs well broken up. I like the prophecies and myths that seem spread across your story. And once again a chapter ends with Azuren in trouble! I wonder how he's going to get out of this one. Your grammar could use some work, but overall, it flows really well. Good chapter. ~ Luke
Frayling0 chapter 7 . 6/16/2009
It's out of the frying pan and into the fire with Azuren isn't it... he's in trouble once again :S. I'm excited to see how this turns out. I'd reccomend breaking up some of your paragraphs. Large blocks of text like in this chapter, but readers off, and they're not necessary. Plus it makes the chapter seem even shorter than it actually is. Overall, the plot is still moving... good work ~ Luke
King of Kings chapter 41 . 6/15/2009
Amusing chapter. XD Should have known Eldan would get into a fight sooner or later. I find this Jose and Ruth pair to be rather interesting. Will they play a bigger role in the future of the story, or are they just passing through?

Fenris' comment - "What a pair of bloody morons" - was hilarious. :D My thoughts exactly, heh.

On the whole 'cup' does seem to be a little out of place considering the time your world seems to be based around - that is, Medieval times - but then again, you have never really stuck to the traditionial depiction of such a time, anyway. XD

Have I ever mentioned I adore Eldan?

Sorry I've been making you wait so long for my reviews as of late. I'm estatic to see CoA updated, though, and I look forward to seeing how this newest incident resolves itself. ;)
Frayling0 chapter 6 . 6/14/2009
Great chapter, found myself really involved. I think you captured the feeling of Azuren's despair really well. Nice work - look forward to reading more! ~ Luke
Frayling0 chapter 5 . 6/12/2009
I like the dynamics between Azuren and Julia, they're really interesting characters. The ending was shocking... and dramatic. I hope Azuren doesn't die like everyone expects him to. I can really feel the boy's loneliness as people cast him off as the demon child. Great chapter, enjoying it more and more, and nice to see a little improvement in length. Good work ~ Luke
Alteng chapter 41 . 6/11/2009
Okay, I got to this sooner than I thought. There are only 8 emails in the box right now.

Alright then, about the chapter. The beginning bit was a little confusing for me. Are the boys actually going to get to escort the girl or not after Eldan opened his big mouth and inserted foot? I will give you that it was a bit amusing.

The thing with the g-cup strikes me a bit off. I think it is because of the setting thing, because the characters are not fighting with guns and the like. Another words, it strikes as a modern term in a medieval world. I have troubles of this like with Bane, because I have things about shoestrings in the story, but the shoe string didn't come along until, I think, the early 20th Century.

Ruth seems a bit of a whimp. I guess you are trying to make her maiden in distress, One of the problems I have with her is the fact that she is mute just due to the house being ransacked. I would think that the incident would have to be more dramatic to make her lose her speech. Maybe the ruffians raped and murdered her mother. They could have raped her and left her for dead.

Jose seems to be a hothead, who will quickly get himself into trouble. The fight scene will prove interesting. I really don't want to see Jose or Eldan to die. I think if you can work this out, Jose may turn into a valuable asset to the party.
Frayling0 chapter 4 . 6/10/2009
It's nice to see some progression with Azuren, and I like the addition of Julia. A sort of 'us against them' scenario is possibly building up...? The truth about Ranor was disturbing too, and well written. I found Azuren's reaction very believable.

Same criticisms as last time really: your chapters are very short and so it seems your writing is compacted with events flowing unnaturally quick. It would be nice if you slowed down a little.

Nevertheless, once again an interesting chapter promising more to come. Good job ~ Luke
Frayling0 chapter 3 . 6/10/2009
An interesting chapter, fills me with lots of questions about this baby. A few minor niggles though: it's very short and the couples decision to take on the baby seems far too quick - surely they'd have to consider something that important for longer? Oh, and 'out of the sudden' doesn't make grammatical sense, even though I know what you mean. Nevertheless, I'm still engaged with the story, wondering what will happen to Azuren and suspicious villagers around him! Good work ~ Luke
Frayling0 chapter 2 . 6/6/2009
Wow, breath-taking chapter. The initial descriptions are really beautiful. One thing though: the use of 'again' twice in the last sentence doesn't seem to flow very well - minor thing. Nevertheless, great start, full of magic and legend promising a great story. Fenris seems like a good character, I'll love to see where you go with him. Nice work ~ Luke
Frayling0 chapter 1 . 6/5/2009
Wow, this is a nice prologue! I love how deep your mythology goes with world creation and Gods. The final line about the howl of a wolf actually gave me goosebumps. Really promising beginning, can't wait to read more! ~ Luke
Dagonmaster chapter 4 . 6/4/2009
Just finished reading and I have to say job well done.

Poor Azuren, I kind of feel bad that the village sees him as a demon and for Julia to even talk to him is even more amazing.

Overall, the story is progressing very well and I look forward to reading more.
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