Reviews for Circles of Arven
Dagonmaster chapter 1 . 6/4/2009
Before I start I would like to extend my thanks for reviewing my work for your feedback is much appreciated. Anyway, I shall proceed.

Your Prologue is excellent! I liked how there is a person higher than the gods and how you ultimately elaborate on the various time periods that occurred within the world of Arven.

Both the pacing and flow of your writing is excellent and not once did it seem stagnant or choppy. I overall look forward to reading the rest of your story.

Stardrag chapter 41 . 5/28/2009
It's easy to review something you read days ago but...I've been busy with crud and crap! lol, sorry for the late review! As soon as you said it in a review for my story I was like "Holy shit I hope he isn't that pissed!"

*coughs* Anyways,I have to say that Eldan reminds me of Miroku from Inuyasha, he isn't afraid to go for a girl...but also protect her! It's like the perfect balanace! Plus I think Fenris was stunned yet the happiest, just to see that Eldan isn't all know, maybe I've been gone for such a while that I forgot that Azuren talks that way. It seemed a little wierd, but REALLY FUNNY!

Do they actually know where they're going? I mean, do they have an ancient elven map? And also what's the grand point of this journey? To fight the darkness of an already imprisoned god?

When you said the word, frock, I HAD TO LOOK IT UP TO SEE WHAT IT MEANT! It'd be cool if they made peace with Jose after a long climatic battle of course! Hope he can use a cool power... MAYBE AN ELEMENTAL LORD IS WITHIN HIM!


Stardrag chapter 40 . 5/28/2009
I liked the last little bit on pinning the tail (doesn't it go like...when someone sneezes, somebody is talking about you!) And of course the main focuss of Lyren admitting how she feels, which felt a little odd to me, yet something that was really needed to be solved before he just ran off somewhere! lol!

And of course how she could still be cool with him even though he's leaving, though you did a good job on making Azuren feel ackward from her kiss and stuff!

Okay onto the next one!

umekogal chapter 41 . 5/27/2009
"To Lyren's words however, Fenris could only sum up his views in a single statement.

What a pair of bloody morons..."

I agree with him on that one. LOL.
anti-climax chapter 41 . 5/27/2009
Ugh, connection's been giving me hell.

Thoughts on this chapter? While I'm glad Circles is being updated again, I thought this chapter was really short, which disappointed me a little.

Anyway, I think Fenris is gradually becoming my favorite character. His biting comments can be the perfect foil for the antics of the two main leads although maybe you ought to let him use more refined language and make him more bestial perhaps? I think having him question human nature might be even more amusing like 'Are humans incapable of stifling their lust?' or something akin to that.

Letting a womanizing elf hold your money for you... Uh, not the smartest move heh.

Eldan was actually somewhat noble there! What a surprise!

I like Ruth for some reason. She seems to be a typical damsel-in-distress at the moment but I hope she won't just be another 'filler' character as her story seems capable of being explored further. Hopefully you'll be expanding her and Jose's role in this, and satisfy my desire for a female lead in your stories! Lol.

As for Jose, he seems to be another who likes to pick a fight, so he and Eldan could be quite humorous companions, maybe in the vein of Sanji and Zoro of One Piece.

I'm guessing Djekkar will be forging them a weapon of sorts? You don't usually assign people names without envisioning a future role for them in your story.

Anyway, good to see Circles get updated again, I enjoyed this chapter.
VelvetyCheerio chapter 41 . 5/26/2009
Well, it was a nice update. I almost forgot how inappropriate Eldan could be until I read this. XD He's such a womanizer.

[“SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'M NOT YOU FOR FUCK'S SAKE!” screamed Azuren as he lost his cool and started to throttle his impudent companion.] I must admit that I did crack up when reading this part. It was so funny for some reason.

[Now that we've reached some random town,] This was one of the things that sort of bugged me. I mean, shouldn't they know where they're going? That just seems strange to me.

Hmm, I think I like Jose. He sounds like a potentially interesting character, though I wonder if his relationship with Ruth will cause more than major problems with the others. On Ruth, I'm surprised men still find her attractive despite her inability to talk. I was sort of thinking along the lines of Azuren when he felt pity for her when he considered the prejudice, but I guess the other men are more perceptive than once thought. Hmm.

Okay, there was one other thing that really bugged me and I'm not sure if it's present in previous chapters, but I noticed it several times in this chapter: telling. Instead of showing a lot of emotions through descriptive writing, you just tell it like we would never be able to guess it.

[The onlookers were amazed by the show of superior martial]; [Azuren still wore a face darkened with anger.]; [they saw a scenario that they dreaded the most]; [Ruth could only stand rooted to the ground helpless and scared.]

These could easily be fixed by removing choice words like "anger" or "helpless and scared". Or rewrite the sentences describing the reactions that the faces make, like wide eyes, gaping mouths, or even things like racing hearts.

Other than that, this was a good chapter. I'm glad you updated, too. I'm still very interested in Jose, though. :P

Stardrag chapter 39 . 5/25/2009
I KNOW I REVIEWED THIS FOR A FACT's just not here,lol! XD!

Anywho, I was dreaming for him to show up like that and smack some words of wisdom into his brain...or his own in a way...Though I'll have to go back and see why he killed himself again,he lost his love or something like that right? Oh, and Azuren's character is developing a little with his slight arrogance at defeating that enemy.

Also, these awakening that he's beginning to recieve, is it like an automatic "heal card"? cause I think the last time he did it, he was like restored and stuff.

Breathtaking chapter 2 . 5/25/2009
Wow that sounded really cool! I would love to read on but alas my mom is kicking me off. So laterz!

Breathtaking chapter 1 . 5/25/2009
Wow. That sounds interesting. Thank you for reviewing my story. I like it so far and I plan on continuing.

Laterz -B-
Narq chapter 41 . 5/25/2009
I know that it's your style to put in random bits of modern terms like "dude" and "amazing" and so forth, but I must say some of the really put me off at the start of this chapter although the progress was really interesting. and, um, I'm not sure the rotund man did say anything about her daughter unless it was in the previous chapter which I doubt.

"a single drop of sweat rolled down his head" a bit cliche here and it doesn't suit your text. You might want to think about it again.

Refering about Ruth, since you mentioned she was thrashed by her father, shouldn't she bear some scars of a sort? Dunno, I'm probably just thinking too much.

"Upon these words, Ruth could only stand rooted to the ground helpless and scared." you might want to show, don't tell here. It was going pretty well until you put that sentence in which ruined the story a bit.

Otherwise, I absoulutely enjoyed this chapter and please do update!

Narq chapter 40 . 5/22/2009
Um... I didn't see any connection, sorry. I think you need to to a bit more detailed on that one. The pinning the donkey's tail was quite funny though and YAY! I'VE FINALLY CAUGHT UP!
Narq chapter 39 . 5/22/2009
Yow~ again one of your long character info thingys... I really wished you didn't do those because also they do show you know your character a thoroughly, they take away the excitement of discovering the character.

Anyways, great chapter!
Narq chapter 38 . 5/22/2009
Good fighting scene but again I think you need short sentences to enhance your tension.

The Darkenkin refused to take in the reality it was defeated by the young ranger. It roared. Repeated its warping again. Azuren just gripped Nemmaril. The monster attempted to attack . He sensed the attack coming. Left! Azuren a counterattack, a single slash biting into its side. It staggered away.

Hope that showed a bit of what I'm refering to.
Narq chapter 37 . 5/22/2009
Phew, three more chapters left to review. I'm on a roll tonight! Anyways, I really enjoyed reading this chapter, not because of any particular reason, just my personal taste for the moment I guess.. :P

Good chappy~
Narq chapter 36 . 5/22/2009
Although you put a lot of pagebreaks, your sentences don't suggest the story is in a fast pace - which contridicts, really, 'cause I think this is quite fast. You need to have shorter, stronger sentences to complement your wonderful writing.

Good chapter anways.
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