Reviews for Circles of Arven
Alteng chapter 20 . 1/1/2009
Okay, I am half way through!

It is good to have a few characters flaws. I hate it when the character can do everything perfect.

You know, Azuren never made the deal with the spirit, but the spirit still possessed him to do the magic. Also, this makes this a hollow victory for Azuren, but I think he is aware of this in the next chapter. I have read about half of that one.
Narq chapter 5 . 1/1/2009
Good the development of the character. A lot of dialogue, but not over boring... all and all, a good chapter although it's a bit short.

Alteng chapter 19 . 12/31/2008
Okay, I will try this again. I lost my connection when I sent this review.

I read this one one the bus as well, but I didn't have time to write a review. My boss would be most distress if I missed my stop! (And if I have the computer with me, it means that I am typing. It's the new chapter for Bane IV.)

Okay, to this chapter. It seems that Azuren is more apt at the fighting magic than he is at the other kind ofr magic. This says something about his character. Of course, he's not bad at the magic either. He just seems very average compared to how fast he did the Ki thing. This is not a bad thing. Of course, the study of magic could be related to how math works. You have to learn to add and subtract before you can do algebra, whereas you can learn literature in any order as long as you have the reading skills.

I divide my character's magic into two categories. There is the magic within and the magic without. The magic within works like the Ki, in that it is channelling the powers within the soul and using them. The magic without is the learning to bend the powers around you to your will. I don't deal much with this idea in Bane, although Alteng does a nice feat of magic in Part I which qualifies as the latter, and I introduce a character called Lyn who has the former.

Anyway, It looks like I am going to get the 900th review on this story. Dang it, if you get three more dedicated reviewers, you will have 10 reviews on this one!
Alteng chapter 18 . 12/30/2008
I finally got a bus with the wi-fi, so I get to leave this review a little early.

I find it hard to believe that Azuren is only 11 years old. I would think that he is 13 at least. Actually, as I have mentioned earlier, I had thought him about 15. Of course, I should talk. Alteng started his entertaining life with ships and swords when he was 12, but he got kicked around a bit with it. Anyway, this would give Azuren some time to mature and give him more reason to be down on himself because of what the people of Anglas had done to him, not to mention fighting Ranor and his thugs.

As for the chapter in general, it is amusing with Lyren and Fenris making bets. It does seem odd to have a sparring partner without hands to wield a sword in defense, although I do realize that Fenris is a forminable opponent.
Alteng chapter 17 . 12/30/2008
I was wondering about the mithril issue as well since the origins is even in the language that Tolkien used, but I do recall seeing it used in other books as well.

This chapter reminds me of Yu GI Oh and the Ka issues in the Millenium season . . . read the manga, but I have yet to see the anime on this one. Yet, I do believe that is a martial arts kind of thing. Of course, it doesn't help that Azuren gets it down in one day. It makes me wonder if the teachers don't exclaim that Shonen catch phrase of "That's impossible!"

Still, the flashbacks entwine well in this chapter and it drawsthat similarity between the two characters.
Alteng chapter 16 . 12/30/2008
Okay, I read multliple chapters this morning. I was too tired to review them when I got in.

The problem with this chapter is that it tells the same thing as the previous one, and you could delete the interlude almost completely and add just a touch more inforamtion in this piece.

The one thing that troubled me about Lyren is his age. He was older than Thelanor, but he is human or descended from humans. Does the blessing of Orowen make them immortal, because this will make Lyren over a thousand years old.
Alteng chapter 15 . 12/30/2008
I was worried about this one when I saw the title, but it fits into the story quite nicely and appropriately. I would guess the Holy Book of the Wilds is the Bible for the Edenishm and it must be written in journal form by the way it is written in the first person. In a way, that is kind of neat.
written chapter 38 . 12/29/2008
good job! i liked the darkenkin's backstory; that was good. and lynn and azuren would make a cute couple... let's see if they make good on the bet djinn made?
written chapter 37 . 12/29/2008
it's nice to see azuren have a challenge for once. I think your story is progressing well; the set up to this fight was well done and this one is pretty tense. the only thing I'd say is that a lot of the villains seem to have the same personalities... cocky, arrogant, etc.

I read this chapter a while back but didn't have time to review properly :)
Narq chapter 2 . 12/29/2008
Wow! Really interesting story! I'll read more soon!

btw, "The Sight" also had the name "Fenris" in

Narq chapter 1 . 12/29/2008
Ooh~ this rememinds me of "The Sight" a book also about a wolf legend.

Nice chpater.

Alteng chapter 14 . 12/29/2008
I am not too sure how I feel about you making Julia Ilgen's daughter. I guess this would make the man a bit more sympathetic to Azuren, but I did like the randomness of the kindness and understanding.

Lyren sounds like an interesting little fellow. He knows a little about necromancy I take it. I always wanted to write a good guy who was a necromancer and he started off that way.

Some of the things that you think of as a ranger and what I think of a ranger are different things. I would think that Azuren has to get over his past to move on and become a man. This is not a requirement for being a ranger. A ranger, to me, knows how to live out in the wilds and can track animals and the lot. They tend to be loners, kind of like the mountain man hermit type person. Of course, given the setting (much like the Lord of the Rings), the ranger isn't likely to have that nice hunting rifle to blow away trespasser. Strider just happened to have the royal bloodline going for him. Anyway, my point is that I don't think that the rangers are a noble porfession particularly, but I think a ranger can be noble, and Azuren is striving to learn to be like Thelanor.

I also think that Thelanor's angst and trauma over his woman dying was a bit more painful than Azuren losing Julia. Azuren and Julia were not together enough to have that love relation that Thelanor and Elaynia might have had. I was more under the impression they were good friends.

Still, there are a good many good point here. The idea of freewill and Azuren's choice was a good point, and there is hope that Azuren may find a true love and avoid the fate that Thelanor had.

I know that you have finished this story, but I would think that Azuren might well want to know about his own, real parents, and I think he would be asking Lyren about such things. It is possible that Lyren would have no idea, but I think Azuren would like to know and why was he abandoned.
VelvetyCheerio chapter 35 . 12/28/2008
Hooray, plot twist! Argh, I spelled Eranil's name wrong in the last review, sorry! . Well, I can't even begin to imagine the fight between Azuren and this Darkenkin. Sounds exciting.

Hmm, I wonder how much significance this Memory star will have in later chapters. And as for Eldan making all those kids come back to pester Fenris, that's complete evil. But hilarious.

Well, I'll save the next few chapters for a later date. Good work, I loved it. Velvet.
VelvetyCheerio chapter 34 . 12/28/2008
Hmm, it seems that Azuren and Thelanor's lives are so similiar, it could be considered creepy. It's like watching history repeat itself. Though, as the chapters wind down, I can't help but wonder where the real conflict will arise. I'll see what happens in the next chapter, maybe another conflict will come up.

VelvetyCheerio chapter 33 . 12/28/2008
The last paragraph was deep, I loved it. Aww, poor Lynn! She really does like Azuren, huh? It was kind of funny, to see how she wrestled with her feelings. That was cute.

Hmm, I wonder where Ranor found that ruby to begin with? Was it in the treasures that Enrail left? Well, as long as it's gone, I guess that's good.

Heh, poor Fenris, being the little kids' pony. :D Good chapter, it was good.

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