Heya, Outlaw-2 here,

Whoa, this is quite a read actually. Battle scenes are well done, though you could do the explanation about the arcane magic thing at the end of the battle, so as not to break the flow of the battle itself. No matter, this was really a very hard fight for Azuren in many ways; guess he is still a bit naive in several terms.

Outlaw-2

'Titan', appropriate for the Lord of the Earth. ;) "Yeah, hell like it will?" Shouldn't it be, "Yeah, like hell it will?" I think you mixed up the words there...you do that sometimes, you know...or so it seems to me, anyway.

Good chapter, not boring at all. Thelanor is quite...well, I like him. Let's just leave it at that. ;) I cannot wait to see how Azuren develops to be more like him...

Also looking forward to what you think about my other story. I know you'll find something that needs improvement...;)

Outlaw-2 here,

Actually, I like the humour between Djinn and Azuren. I find Djinn a laid back god in many ways, and yes Azuren sure is serious and fired up in this chapter. And well... again, you're not the only one who has bad story planning. To tell you the truth, in the latest chapter of Shattered Entity, the characters should have been in Japan, but... yeah, got held back by some new storylining... Oh great... Anyway, this chapter was a good read, and the undead oraks have that Silent Hill feel to it.

Outlaw-2

Outlaw-2 here,

Dang, I never knew Eldan was such a sly person to boot. Adding from being the practical joker as well, I think the party is already a humourous one in many ways. Of course, there are times where seriousness come into play, but hey, it's good to balance it out, unlike mine, where I concentrate on humour first, then action in Tokyo Battalions. Let's just say... Metal Slug series was my inspiration.

Outlaw-2

Outlaw-2 here,

Of all the humour in this chapter, the one about Fenris getting a biggie in the face was funny. The rest... need some brushing up to do. :/ Anyway, this chapter does have some mystery feel to it. For me, I assume someone under Marath did this, but hey, I can't be too sure. :P

Outlaw-2

Outlaw-2 here,

Whoa.. now that's a twist. Even Ranor and his son were corrupted by the dark magic. I never thought of that idea in many ways. And yes, I think you could do with some humour, be it boisterous or sarcastic, could be a good addition into the party.

Outlaw-2

Outlaw-2 here,

This chapter somehow reminds me of Aragon; using magic to easily get out of situations or battles. That was one critic Aragon had, and I think you should reconsider here. As far as magic goes, yes, Lyren is one of the more powerful druids in the story, but- I think you get the drift; 'god-tiered' Guess both of us are guilty about making characters up to that level, eh?

Outlaw-2

Outlaw-2 here,

I was about to shoot you in the head for being a short chapter, but then I realised- oh skip that. I see that some of the Anglas's villagers are still poisoned by the late Ranor and his son. No matter, I do feel pity about Azuren here, once again. Blind as they are the villagers never thought of clearing the blur in their minds. o.O;

And yes, I'm anticipating Eldan wrecking havoc...

Outlaw-2

Heya, Outlaw-2 here,

Another action-packed chapter, and what a read as well. It's surprising that Arven is a bit serious in the battle, and more matured in some ways. Of course, Arven feels a bit... having the edge constantly in the battle in my view. As for Lynn and Wayne, I feel that these two are going to be temporary characters, right?

Outlaw-2

Outlaw-2 here,

With the same reaction as Azuren, I was shocked at the result of the town. Never have I thought about how desolate it would get later on. Ranor and his son sure are the two most people I hated most after reading this chapter. As for the end of the chapter, I find it weird that Azuren wanted to deal it by himself. At least he could have asked Fenris to tag along in some way. Is it because of the sake of the village he used to be from? After all, he did state he had forgiven them.

Outlaw-2

Outlaw-2 here,

...Finally! The journey begins! For a start, this chapter reminded me of Kingdom Hearts 2, famous for having such a long prologue before the main story kicked in. The anticipating plot here, I can really seem to like it. Uhh.. and yeah, try putting at least one or two ladies in the group, it should balance it out in many ways, if you get my drift. :P I'm in the process of balancing my characters as well; too many ladies in my creation. X.x;

So, the journey begins, but I can sense it won't be an easy one, right? Well, that's the mystery you're giving to us readers, right? :P

Outlaw-2

Outlaw-2 here,

I really never expected Eldan to react that way other than being his carefree self. However, he did really give a good, valuable advice to Renkai in many ways, and in a thorough manner as well. And as for the conversation about the battle, I'm still a bit confused though. Did Eldan really allow Azuren win, or did he just did not have the chance to attack? I was a bit... puzzled. :/

Outlaw-2

Outlaw-2 here,

The atmosphere shifting in this chapter really does some justice conveyed by the feelings of the characters. Visualising in this chapter was somewhat easy. Reason being? I used a bit of Scrapped Princess environment, and mixed with some LOTR elements. It was easy to picture out. Though, I keep picturing Eldan and the like as Dark Elves in Radiata Stories. o.O; Maybe it's just me all along.

Outlaw-2

Outlaw-2 here,

Now that's a unique twist at the end of the chapter. I had expected Azuren to win the fight, but not that way. o.O; Guess that's where your good originality lies, eh? Great job on that. And in this chapter's battles scenes, I was surprised that I didn't get bored about it, I was often keen on what would happen next. This is by far my favourite chapter.

Outlaw-2

Heya, Outlaw-2 here,

Now, this chapter had me pumping with anticipation and excitement. And as for your first detailed battle, it isn't that bad as well. You seemed to visualise the battle before writing, as I see in your writing style, but hey, I used that technique as well. :P

Erm... and yes, I really think some of my characters are a bit god-tiered. I gotta weaken them somehow...

Outlaw-2