Whoa, a lot happened during this chapter. That was pretty surprising. I had a feeling Julia would die, because usually stories don't take along cheerful characters like her. lmfao I just didn't think she'd die so soon. She sort of felt like a tool to show us more of Azuren's humanity and to offer a catalyst for his crazyass killing machine transformation.

First, they're all happy and having this picnic, and then kaBLAM parents find out and they beat up the poor kid, he gets up, finds Julia by his side, she reveals she's the daughter of the village head and then BANDITS COME and murder her.

And even though he saves the village's friggin' life from all the bandits, they still toss the poor kid in a cell anyway. Let's forget that he just killed those bandits with his ruthless transformation, or that he was running away with the village head's daughter. He's still a hero, though! Poor kid, so abused.

This chapter had the least art and candor out of the ones I read. Much more rushed than the other few chapters. Death always seems to be the catalyst, everything is inevitable, very little motive. The only hint that Azuren feels he's destined is in that small dream sequence which reiterates the second chapter all over again (first chapter in-story). But there seems to be no connection to that dream andhis circumstance. It was just, inserted in there.

A very raw chapter.

There was an extremely villainous, malicious character in this chapter and a honey-sweet, goodie-two-shoes character: Ranor and Julia, respectively. Though I don't doubt there are types of characters like that, their two-dimensional nature will suffer the story and bog it down with increduility (whoa... is that even a word? roflmao).

Ranor is such a jerk though. That guy should roast in his own juices, seriously. I like how Azuren can still fend for himself even though the whole village is avoiding him. It's that mistrust that will make him a cunning marksman. Ranor was so cruel not to kill Azuren-even though he is the main character, it would've been nicer for Ranor to put Azuren out of his misery, though, it was the intention of the story to make him seem totally cruel and treacherous anyway.

I'm just wondering why Azuren didn't just run from the village altogether and try to live in the wilderness. Maybe he had some precious hope that the village might understand. Luckily they respected him in Lakus' honor, so the rest of the village isn't so bad.

I hope Julia doesn't die. lmao

Argajhjsd This chapter had more tense mistakes and errors than both of the other two put together. It's a good story, Wolfblood82, I wish you would just care about the grammar so this thing could get published both as a book AND as a manga-and possibly used as the script for an anime.

Lakus reminded me of Lacus from Gundam: Seed Destiny, I mean, obviously he isn't her because he doesn't have long pink hair and a tiny girl's voice, but he definitely has her personality. I was like, Whoo-hoo! someone who isn't a teenager! Azuren has demon eyes like the character in EnigmaticArsenic's The Goddess Chronicles, another one of my extremely favorite stories. Except it's a girl. I could see Azuren paired up with someone evil and awesome like the the girl from that story. lmao

So he was abandoned because of his demon eyes-thank God Lakus and Lobela lost their kid to a disease, or else he wouldn't have a home-actually, I shouldn't say that. They're good folks, they would have probably taken him in even if they WEREN'T rich and lonely. It sucks that they died, though.

Is Azuren supposed to be Theloran's (sp?) successor?

I guess I will just have to find out.

Ah! So this chapter starts off where the other chapter left off. I thought we were going to be hurled into a different time span altogether. Thank the dragons we didn't though. hahaha

I like the feel of this story, dare I say, just a little bit more over Elven Chronicles. There's something about the way the story carries itself that makes it a much more mature read, though I think it's because it starts off so darkly. Elven Chronicles is enjoyable to read, though when it comes to narration, I think I like the way this story is going. I won't know for another three chapters or so though.

Oh, Nemmaril was the blade, I see-awesome

Fenris is friggin' awesome. He doesn't get all totally emo over Thelanor, and when he's offered to be turned into a wolf, he doesn't freak out either. Though I sort of would, because being an elf is total badassery. He's got a lot of loyalty behind him.

This was a quick chapter to read. I wish there was more description about the wolf transformation. I mean, it's not terribly important, but it would be awesome to see clumps of skin fall off or something. It would have more meaning if the transformation hurt like hell. rofl

Alright, reviewing will be dramatically easier, so expect more reviews in a shorter span of time. There's a fantasy story that also wants to be a manga in the near future, one I infinitely enjoy reading called Tsubasa Reverse by Diamonddust08. He seems to be on hiatus right now, but maybe you should try at reading it; different style, but aiming for the same manga essence. I think his girlfriend is going to help him draw out his.

Whoo-wee. That was a lot to get through. Some of the history seemed trunctated. It lost a bit of its flow around the part where the Senrilese turn the dwarves and the elves into enemies. I sort of couldn't follow that, because many other names came in. I've learned not to be worried during fantasy stories, because if I don't understand now, I'll understand later.

This definitely had a lot of imagination and creativity, reminiscient of great Greek myths. Just like in The Elven Chronicles, the actual problem stems from extreme hubris/arrogance that rifts the world apart, sort of like the Bible's Genesis. I think the chaotic nature of the chapter means to infer that there is a lot of branch-offs that we won't be able to comprehend in one sitting.

The tone of the narration lets me trust that there won't be any plot holes or detail mistakes, since it is an all-knowing, omni-present narrative. It was an interesting, loaded first chapter. I don't recall Nemmaril introduced anywhere else in the story, except in the last paragraph. I'm thinking we'll find out who he is later.

You know I sometimes have a habit of going into the reviews to find out what others think, so that I can stray from putting the same things they put in their review. My point is, I have read many of Shadowhounds reviews, which I think are pretty good on the basis of giving criticism. Yet, I find he has his own habit of being redundant. My thoughts are if you find so much of the story lacking why do you continue to read it. We understand curiousity and the need to express your opinion, but if every review just makes for being redundant in complaints as I put before, then it's probably better you don't comment on it.

I do agree with him, though, on certain parts of your story's compostion. Such as the characterization of the enemy. Only I see that some enemies need not be elaborated on if there isn't going to be a run in with them again. Something I noticed you stick to well. Your main protagonist are very well described, and their backgrounds are slowly coming to be present and known. The battle sequences you can tell are written with good care and definite desciption, which brings a nice and clear image to mind of how the battle might look. Sometimes, it makes me think of those anime cartoon battles, where it can be over blown and comical.

Still all these battles Azuren is going through makes me wonder what the purpose is. Is it to help him hon his battling skills and become a better warrior, or is it that and for other unthought of reasons. And what's the deal with the girl, she seems to be a heap of trouble, albeit she is brave, she's still trouble. Similar to the damsel in distress characters in romanticized stories of heroes and their epic tales. (Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with it. I'm just curious to know what her part is really about.)

Overall, I find this story a better read than your other ones. I think it's the effort of description, plot, and catchiness you put into it in which makes it stand out more than the others. Maybe, its me, but who cares. My opinion matters to me more.

Great Chapters, hope you update sometime soon.

~M.S.

Whaha! I've caught up! Nice job on the battle scenes in these two chaps! Can't wait for the next! Oh, congrats on breaking 500 reviews!

-SB

"a Darkenkin’ power was around the standard of five Orak warbringers added together and that was only the minimum standard" MINIMUM? This battle's gonna be interesting!

-SB

How tough is a Darkenkin? Will go read next chapter!

-SB

Now I've only three chapters to go! ) Keep it up!

-SB

I had some stuff to do this morning, so sorry for not reviewing sooner. This was cool. I'll read some more asap!

-SB

p.s. Nice thing you're doing with the character profiles!

Nice! It's getting kinda late over here (NC,USA). OMG! It's saturday! 12:02 to be exact! Gah! I'l read more as soon as I get a minimum of 5 hours sleep!

-SB

Some of the younger villagers need to think about what they're saying, before they say it.

-SB

p.s. I'm six chapters away from catching up! ) )

This was yet another well written battle!

-SB

Nice! Kinda hard to believe that Azuren would be so forgiving, but you never know...

-SB