Hmm, this chapter needs a bit of rewording here and there. I don't like the way Azuren suddenly comes into his powers ~ you didn't explain the trigger, so I was just left thinking, possible deus ex machina?

~ Sakina x

Wow some mental and emotional scars for our little protagonist. The death of a friend was a good way to do it. Also the reemberance of the past and a hint of his powers, excellent. This is really interesting. Sorry I can't really give more detailed but I am trying.

Great chapter, interesting new characters. a few minor grammar errors - like some commas which need to be put in, and I also found the G-Cup bit slightly out of place. I don't think there would have been such a system in a medieval sort of time. Nevertheless this was enjoyable, and Azuren is as awesome as ever. I hope you update this soon, I want to know what happens next! ~ Luke

At least one person likes him. I hate Ranor and I hope he gets what's coming to him. Short but still a good work. I am definently reminded of Ico as I said before. I saw no real mistkaes in grammer. You are really good at that. Can't really say anything else besides good chapter.

Short and sweet. Would have preffered soemthing longer but this was still good. So I tkae it he has been reincarnated as a human? You for some reason the viligers animosty towards him reminded me of the main character from the game Ico. In the cursed child department although I have not played the game fully (want to though and Shadow of the Collussus). Frankely I like this story so far.

This chapter was very fast paced. By the time I felt comfortable with the fact that this man killed his love, there's a deamon there, then a random person who jumped out from behind the bushes, the man who killed his love kills himself, and then a messenger arrives. Right now it seems like all of this is happening immediately after the other which creates for some awkward timing. Having some noted time elapse would help solve this problem pretty much completely. Although I'm still really not sure why the guy jumped out of the bushes . . .

Also, there were a few errors with your punctuation. Nothing too major, just some missing periods and commas. You should be able to catch them with another run through.

But all in all, this was an interesting chapter. You've got a lot happening and you've shown that a lot has happened. It'll certainly be neat to see where this leads.

Poor Ilgen...the village sounds like such a horrid and prejudiced place to live in.

Please pay it forward to Soul Catcher!

~ Sakina x

He saves them from the bandits and they still treat him like cr*p? God, some people are stupid...

~ Sakina x

Ranor is such a prick, but why did he kill Lukas' son in the first place?

Maybe you should look over this chapter again, as there were a few spelling errors here and there. Nothing huge, but if you're aiming for professional writing, then it's worth the check.

~ Sakina x

This is so creative and well thought out and really well written. Generally, I'm not into this ancient war type genre, but this was easy to read and kept interesting. For a prologue, that's REALLY good. My only complaint is all the names! Haha. So many characters. O.o I could never handle that many, so major kudos to you for being able to do such.

Oh, I liked the mystical feel of this chapter, especially the moonlight scene. You also managed to make the time scales work too ~ the transition from baby to infant to a ten year old was truly believable.

Ah, reading shorter length chapters is good for my eyes! :)

~ Sakina x

P.S. You have been repaid!

I take it this means reincarnation. So I assume the next chapter will take place after a time jump. Wonder what he will return as? So far it is getting interesting but then agai nthe prolouge ensured a story with a rich history.

You've done an excellent job of creating a universe from the ground up! Your details and full history flowed effortlessly and provided a good sense of what the story will be like further on. Not only did I not catch any errors, but you've also gotten me interested in the rest of the story - which is just what the first chapter should do. Great work!

Haha enjoyed that, if it was filler, I didn't notice, it made me laugh. One thing, for example in your second paragraph, the tense goes awry. This is a major problem so be sure to make sure your tenses are gramatically correct if you don't want to confuse the reader. it seems to go to 2nd person or something...? Otherwise, I liked the style of this with lots of short scenes, felt like an anime episode. Great work Ragna! ~ Luke

That...opening..was...epic.

Now that was a prolouge. I noticed a few parrales with my story but I also saw we have enough differences between them. I thought it may be too much information but a there is no set way to do prolouges. Wonder how the actual story is? All I really have to say is good job.