All riighty! Let's get this show on the road! A review for chapter uno! Stormy nights are always the best for when trouble's a-brewing. Except you used wind-windy twice in two consecutive sentences. Not to be Ms. Picky-Pants or anything, but I'd recommend changing one of them. Maybe gusty? Stormy? Blustery?

"There amongst the trees, knelt a man, his handsome features with silver hair and amethyst eyes standing out in the somber environement."

Should be: "There amonst the trees knelt a man. His handsome features - silver hair and amethyst eyes - stood out in the somber environment."

It was just a little awkward before, with some comma-placement issues. I'm not sure about the word 'environment' either. It's such an emotionless word for such a tender scene. It just doesn't "click" in my mind, ya know?

Laid - lay

So Thelanor did end up killing his beloved? That's so sad, but at least she's in a better place now - not that that provides any consolation to HIM. And this Argath - is he really a demon, or is Fenris just trying to insult him? He seems to be a servant of the Dark Side, so to speak. Taunting is never very nice. Did he have anything to do with Elaynia's fall?

"Fenris . . . he maybe a demon" - may be a demon

How was Thelanor able to talk if he sliced his throat? Was he gasping or something? He killed himself because he had nothing to live for - but I wonder if maybe it was out of shame. Maybe he thought that since he was unable to protect his lady, he was worthless. Still, doesn't that betray a weakness in this leader - or is that honor? It sort of reminds me of this Japanese suicide ritual called Seppuku, I think. The causes behind it sometimes had to do with preserving self-honor and at other times, shame.

"No one can decreed the future" - should be: no one could decree the future

Who is this Hardis? A messenger. Is that a messenger of the gods, like Hermes - or is he a demigod? If he could turn Fenris into a wolf, he obviously has some power. He seems good, especially if he's a messenger of Orowen, who was the god that triumphed over Mylor in the previous chapter. Good over evil, right? _~

A thousand years? That's a long time. So, Thelanor's soul will be in another body? A reincarnation? And Fenris is going to be a silver wolf? This Orowen god seems . . . compassionate, I suppose, but also as though he's toying with people just to get his kicks. Is he getting entertainment from this? In fact, these gods remind me a lot of Greek gods with their humanlike qualities. I seem to remember that the Greek gods also liked to intervene (or more than that in Zeus's case *cough*) with the affairs of mortals for entertainment. I hope we get to learn more about these gods of yours. They're brilliant. _~

Fenris's parting words were quite touching. He seems to care quite a bit for his friend. But won't he be a little hurt when this new form comes and is a little different? I doubt Thelanor's reincarnation is going to be exactly like him. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they were total opposites - but will they still carry the same scars?

That last sentence - the dialog bit that Wolf-Fenris is saying - is rather awkward. You might want to fix it.

So, it keeps coming with the suspense. I can feel the tension crackling like electricity. When this incarnation fellow comes along, I can't help but feel that he's going to be a warrior in another epic battle of good vs. evil! woo!

xchoco

Very impressive chapters that I just recently read, I honestly liked all of them. As I had thought before, Azuren is a reincarnate of Thelanor.

Though, I usually try to refrain from this due to my hope of not offending anybody, I noticed in the last few chpaters that you tended to change tenses alot. I'll be reading more soon.

I like the idea of an entity that can be all of past, present, and destiny (or future, I suppose). Sort of like the Fates crammed into one . . . body, yes? Quite. It I don't really see a whole Lord-of-the-Ringsish theme in here, as you've said. The beginning seems almost biblical, like the first part of the bible about the creation of the universe. As for the gods of the sacred World, I can't help but think that they sound almost Nordic. I like the harshly accented syllables of their names. Generally in fantasy, you get these lyrical, pretty names that roll of the tongue. These are much more primal.

Mylor seems almost like a devil-ish figure, a corruptor and betrayer. What were the creatures he created? I imagine demons and things like that; probably horribly grotesque and disfigured creatures that match the warped destruction of the icy and wild land that he corrupted. It strikes me as odd though that, if he wanted the land to be kept for the gods (he obviously seemed to find value in it), then why would he seek to destroy it? Or is it one of those "if I can't have it, nobody else can" type things? Mm?

"For fear that should their own powers be unleashed again, the world will be unmade"

Should be: "In the fear that, should their own powers be unleashed again, the world would be unmade". I take it that the battle between Orowen and Mylor - ahem, excuse me; Marath - really taxed the world. Hell, it created a Wildland and a freezing middle of nowhere - not to mention all those demons and evil creatures. Still, I couldn't help but see a little bit of egoism in there that made me smile. Like, "I don't know my own strength".

"where his followers await in anticipation"

Should be: awaited

"where they will be sealed"

should be: where they would be sealed

Marath doesn't give up, does he? Nah, I think at this point, he's hell-bent on destruction and corruption right now. Tainting the beautiful world that he wanted so badly to keep to the gods at the beginning. *shakes head* for shame. I'm seeing more devil references now, though. The whole temptation thing. He must be pretty powerful, although I suppose it's pretty easy to destroy an alliance. All ya need is one measly drop of suspicion and 100-years' worth of peace is screwed.

long standing - should be hyphenated

Nice description of the war. Distrust caused the unified races to split, right? So they spread out, finding their own countries where they could form their own rules as they saw fit. I also liked how, although some did not battle, they were unsure of who to alliance themselves to. If there was peace and then all of a sudden war broke out, the people would be confused. They wouldn't be sure what to do. "These guys are my friends - but then . . . so are those guys, too, right?" I like how you captured that uncertainty.

"the world was baptized in the flames of war" - coming out of innocence. Like a reverse baptism. Like the apple of knowledge, knowing comes at a cost.

"Heroes raised from the neverending bloodshed" - should be: rose from the neverending bloodshed

The greatest sorrow he ever would know was having his wife succumb to evil and not be able to put her out of her misery? And HE's the only one who could kill her? Now that is harsh, man. I don't know if I'd be able to kill the one I loved most, even if I knew it would be the right thing to do.

So, let's see. A little bit of C & C. Very action-packed beginning. It rushes a little towards the end, so you might want to make sure it flows a little better. More transition sentences and everything. Also, you tend to switch your tenses around, going from past to present tense. The most frequent was "would" vs. "will".

It ssounds that there's going to be a new good and a new evil - both incarnations of past heroes, perhaps? - and that they're going to have a big show down. Is the hero going to be a descendant of Thelanor? Is he going to be tempted by evil? I suppose I'll have to read on and find out. Hmm . . . I like your ideas, here.

xchoco

He gains parents, then he looses them; he gets a friend, then looses her. And all of this is Ranor's fault. Boy does he have a venomous grudge against Azuren for no reason. Well, maybe not precisely for no reason, but... okay..

Interesting chapters, plentifully so. I see this is the start of his journey and adventures. Okay... I'm hoping to read and review the next chapters to come a lot faster than I did these. That is if my work and studying doesn't dominate my time.

lol, what is this, a rpg? haha, azuren with ellis was rather cute; and your battle scenes are really excellent!

er, for the stats thingy, perhaps you could arrange it so that it is a little easier to see? i got confused between eldan and azuren's profiles and hobbies

er, could you just clarify this for me? what are the edenish again? XD

ah, that's interesting; old teacher who taught Thelanor before coming to teach Azuren now...sort of like Auron in FFX P

Another interesting chapter. I'm hoping that Ilgen doesn't get killed, but I somehow believe that's going to happen. At the moment I'm not able to review another chapter, though I'm very curious. So, I'll return soon enough.

So, as I thought, Julia is dead, I predicted that much would happen. This was a good chapter, very interesting, and entertaining, I'll try to get to the next chapter if my net doesn't go off.

Okay, now there's a new charcter, I think; Julia. I wonder how she fits in this, or if she is automatically eliminated. I guess that means, I'm off to the next chapter.

*WoOT* go Arven! lol. amazing story! seriously, I was going to stop reading for the night at like, chapter twelve. here I am... chapter eighteen. this is one of those books you check out of the library and on the back it says "A real page-turner! -randomimportantnewspaper"

I can't wait to read more tomorrow! keep up the great work wolfblood82!

o an interlude... I haven't read a story with one of these in a long time.

awesome history here. I love the descriptions! they're beautiful!

I hate to say this... but the villagers are kinda stupid. either that or Ranor's just a bigger * than I thought.

*screams* CLIFFHANGER! gr... must read on!

Fenris? oh wow I did not see that coming! what an awesome story! I love the names too. you're very creative!

gr... I HATE Ranor. He's horrible! I feel so bad for the village and Arven and Arven's parents and Julia! *sniffle*

I like Ilgen though. he's seem nice

to the next chapter! away!

yey I can finnaly get around to reading this (my computer got fixed) what an incredable story! your writing style just blows me away!

poor Arven. that's so sad about his parents.

this story is getting really interesting I can't wait to read more!