I liked this chapter, the bit at the start helped fix the mythology into my mind, and it flowed pretty well because it was a simple conversation which was both deep and revealing. Well done on providing impact on such a simple chapter! ~ Luke

Haha Azuren FTW, he was pretty awesome this chapter, outsmarting the Darkenkin that thought it was so clever... I have to admit, I don't like Lynn as a female character very much, she seems pretty weak and flat, but that's probably just cuz I usually create strong females. Nice to see Eldan, I think he's great! Good work. ~ Luke

The opening was fantastic! You deserve a pat on the back for that. Azuren's struggles were portrayed brilliantly, and the cliffhanger with Djinn! I cannot wait to see what happens next. Thoroughly enjoyed, Ragna well done! ~ Luke

This was really good... could feel Lynn's shock and terror, and Azuren's dialogue and dynamics were perfect. Great, crisp and fluid, nice work! ~ Luke

Wow that was really good :) So the plot thickens, eh... I thought that was a really good use of a cliffhanger, not too big, or too small, but just right. As for the chapter itself, really interesting. Nice mix of characters, dialogue and explanation. I loved the elvish song by the way! Nice work Ragna! ~ Luke

This was really good, it was nice focusing on Azuren - we saw a bit more of his character - and the flashbacks/memories worked really well. I really enjoyed this, good work! I'll review Eternal Grail tomorow latest. ~ Luke

Interesting... nice dialogue and explanations. I like Azuren's thoughts and the little glossary at the end - fleshes out your world. Great work, till next time... ~ Luke - Pay it forward via Time of Kings.

All my fave characters in one chapter. Great, witty dialogue, and a nice smattering of plot progression and development. I really enjoyed this chapter! ~ Luke. P.S new chpts of ToK are up!

This was great. I love cliffhangers, and your dialogue seemed really crisp and realistic in this chapter, great work. I can't wait to see the battles next time. P.S a new chapter of Time of Kings is up! ~ Luke

Nice chapter, don't worry about the 'blade fodder' it's just good to see Azuren fighting. Is Lynn going to become important... she seems it. Great work! ~ Luke

Nice to be reading this again :) I liked how it really brought out the main characteristics of both Eldan and Azuren - what with Azuren's kind of righteousness and his hero-complex, feeling the need to rescue anyone and everyone in trouble (like with the drunk, as well as Ruth). It would be really fun to see whether Azuren is like this all the time - like once he's been drinking or something he could turn into 'evil Azuren' heh that would be funny. Still, I like how he's a really sweet guy :)

'Well I would have more or less expected it from Eldan if his taunts during the fight were anything to go by, Fenris...' haha how could it not be expected? Hehe Eldan's amazing cockiness was bound to come out at any opportunity like this.

'“But I don't think it gives you the license to fool around...” frowned Azuren' oh Azuren... Mr Perfect *sigh*. Still, bah, he's such a spoilsport sometimes.

'The girl was mute, hence the reason why he's only able to hear the person at the counter talking' It's fun how Ruth is mute. I find mute characters really difficult to write as I always forget that they are and Rhianne is like constantly talking whenever I write her, so I end up like 'shit!'. Did you find Ruth easy to write? Probably easier to write than me, as I'm a complete idiot when it comes to writing hehe. So I wonder how the fight between Eldan and Jose will turn out - I've got a feeling Eldan may be pretty cocky, however it goes :)

So I see this was written in 2004, well, compared to your more recent works, this is lacking in description ~ Thelanor stabbing himself should invoke more empathy from the reader, and the only way that can be achieved is through description. Personally, I felt nothing for any of these characters ~ they seem to lack the life in them that I can see from the other works of yours that I have read. Other than that, this flowed very well, and the dislogue here sounds more natural than the dialogues in your future works.

~ Sakina x

(YAY, finally repaid all my reviews! *rejoices*)

Wow, the ending was breathtaking to read! I got lost with all the names of the different gods, but I'm guessing this is just a history of the world you've created. A cliche opening, with some cliche ideas of creation, but it was well written enough to hold my interest.

~ Sakina x

Actually, I've just finished all of your posted chapters yesterday. AI apologize for not reviewing sooner, for I've been fairly busy with a lot of stuff.

So with that anyway let me get onto the review.

From what I've read(Which is a lot!) you've got a solid story. One things I like about you're story is your characterization of all the characters.

Eldan in particular is a prime example of this. I like he's seemingly an elf but at the same time, he's in love with the girls.

This aspect is a nice change from stereotypical wise or adventurous elves we see a lot in fantasy.

Plus, I also like how contrast Eldan's girl infatuation with Azuren's awkwardness towards girls. One other thing I've noticed within you're work is how effectively you've paced it.

The writing flows smoothly and effortlessly without having choppiness.

Also you're battle scenes are really good. I liked how sketched them out plus, I like how you're creative with them.

Overall, good job with the story and I can't wait till you post the next chapter.

P.S: I will try to get you're story "Eternal Grail" as soon as possible.

Ah, so the wood elves welcomed him. I was hoping the wolves would still be there. But then again, there's that creepy wolf at the end... xP

Anyway, I can't really seem to see Eldan past his name since you described Haldel and said everyone else looked like him... I just can't picture everyone looking exactly the same. Same for the girls, nothing about how they were: just that they giggled a lot with the flirting Eldan and prepared food. What makes them different from the male elves? Do they look different [besides female essential parts :P] or do all they do is cook while the rest fight? Things like that.

During the explanation i think you could have put breaks in between them to show how telling the story made Eldan feel [his emotions/facial expressions/change in his voice inflection]. Eh, just more things to make your info in the dialogue not drag and make it feel more like a human [in your case an elf] is talking instead of just words you're reading on the screen. :P